精選爆笑幽默英語笑話

　　“哪裡有人,哪裡就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調劑作用。下面小編為大家帶來，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　：斯威夫特博士與小廝

　　A wealthy old lady who lived near Dr. Swift used to send him presents occasionally by her servant. Dr. Swift took her presents but never gave the boy anything for his trouble. One day as Swift was busy with his writing, the boy rushed into his room, knocked some books out of their place, threw his parcel on the desk and said, my mistress has sent you two of her rabbits.

　　在斯威夫特博士家附近，有一位富有的老婦人，她時常打發僕人給他送禮物。斯威夫特博士接受她的禮物，但從不給小廝任何酬謝。一天，斯威夫特博士正忙著寫東西，小廝衝進了他的房間，把書一扒拉，將一個包裹扔在書桌上，說道：我的女主人送給你兩隻兔子。

　　Swift turned round and said, My boy, that is not the way to deliver your parcel***包裹*** . Now, you sit in my chair, watch my way of doing it and learn your lesson.

　　斯威夫特轉過身來說：孩子，包裹可不是這樣送法呀。現在，你坐在我的椅子上，看看我是怎麼送的，並要記取這個教訓。

　　The boy sat down. Swift went out, knocked on his door and waited. The boy said, Come in. The doctor entered, walked to his desk and said, If you please sir, my mistress sends her kind regards and hopes you will accept these rabbits which her son shot this morning in her fields.

　　小廝坐了下來，斯威夫特走出去，敲了敲門，等待迴音。小廝說進來。博士進了門，走到桌旁說道：先生，我的女主人向您致以親切的問候，並希望您收下這些兔子，這是她兒子今天早晨在地裡打的。

　　The boy answered, Thank you, my boy, Give your mistress and her son my thanks for their kindness and here is two shillings for yourself.

　　小廝回答說：謝謝你，我的孩子。向你的女主人和她的兒子致謝，謝謝他們的關心。這兩個先令是送給你本人的。

　　The Doctor laughed, and after that, Swift never forgot to give the boy his tip.

　　博士笑了，打那以後，斯威夫特從沒忘記送小費給小廝。

　　：你叫什麼名字?

　　A very strict officer was talking to some new soldiers whom he had to train. He had never seen them before,so he began:My name is Stone, and I'm even harder than stone,so do what I tell you or there'll be trouble. Don't try any tricks with me, and then we'll get on well together

　　有一位很嚴厲的軍官在對一***由他訓練的新兵訓話。他以前從沒見過這群新兵，於是他開始自我介紹：我的名字叫Stone***石頭***，事實上，我甚至比石頭更強硬。這就是我為什麼要告訴你們我名字的原因。不要試圖對我玩什麼花招，這樣我們就能很好相處了。

　　Then he went to each soldier one after another and asked him his name. Speak loudly so that everyone can hear you clearly, he said, and don't forget to call me 'sir'.

　　接著他開始走到每個士兵前面問他們的名字。說大聲點，讓每個人都能聽清楚。另外，不要忘記稱呼我為長官。他說。

　　Each soldier told him his name, unitl he came to the last one. This man remained silent, and so Captain Stone shouted at him, When I ask you a question, answer it! I'll ask you again: What's you name, soldier?

　　每個士兵都對他說了自已的名字。他走到最後一位士兵面前時，這個士兵保持著沉默。於是Stone隊長對他喊叫，當我問你問題的時候，要回答!我再問一遍，你的名字，士兵?

　　The soldier was very unhappy, but at last he replied. My name is Stonebreaker, sir. He said nervously.

　　那個新兵很不高興，但最後他回答了。我的名字是Stonebreaker***碎石機***，長官。他緊張的說。