有關外國英語笑話小短文

　　前蘇聯著名作家高爾基說過,“哪裡有人,哪裡就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。本文是，希望對大家有幫助!

　　：Christmas Tatoo

　　A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and tells the tattoo artist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her right thigh, right up just below her bikini line. She also wants him to put "Happy Thanksgiving" under the turkey. So the guy does it and it comes out looking real good.

　　The woman then instructs him to put a Santa Clause with "Merry Christmas" up on her left thigh. So the guy does it and it comes out looking good too.

　　As the woman is getting dressed to leave, the tattoo artist says, "If you don't mind, could you tell me why you had me put such unusual tattoos on your thighs?"

　　She said, "I'm sick and tired of my husband complaining all the time that there's nothing good to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas."

　　：Wife's Devotion

　　A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.

　　After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die.

　　"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him anutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him.

　　"Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Do not nag him. Most importantly, make love to him regularly.

　　"If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."

　　On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"

　　"He said you're going to die," she replied.

　　：Italian Wedding Night

　　Sophie just got married, and being a traditional Italian was still a virgin. On her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But mother reassured her.

　　"Don't worry, Sophie. Luca's a good man. Go upstairs, and he'll take care of you."

　　So up she went. When she got upstairs, Luca took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Sophie ran downstairs to her mother and says, "Mama, Mama, Luca's got a big hairy chest."

　　"Don't worry, Sophie", says the mother, "All good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you."

　　So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Luca took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again Sophie ran downstairs to her mother. "Mama, Mama, Luca took off his pants, and he's got hairy legs!"

　　"Don't worry. All good men have hairy legs. Luca's a good man. Go upstairs, and he'll take good care of you."

　　So, up she went again. When she got up there, Luca took off his socks, and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Sophie saw this, she ran downstairs.

　　"Mama, Mama, Luca's got a foot and a half!"

　　"Stay here and stir the pasta", says the mother. "This is a job for Mama!"

　　：Profitable Donation

　　A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation center.

　　Man: "What are you doing here today?"

　　Woman: "Oh, I`m here to donate some blood. They`re going to give me $5 for it."

　　Man: "Hmm, that`s interesting. I`m here to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me $25."

　　The woman looked thoughtful for a moment and they chatted some more before going their separate ways.

　　Several months later, the same man and woman meet again in the donation center.

　　Man: "Oh, hi there! Here to donate blood again?"

　　Woman: [shaking her head with mouth closed] "Unh unh."

　　：Escaped Prisoner

　　A man escapes from a prison where he had been kept for 15 years. As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it, looking for money and guns, but only finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him up in a chair. While tying the girl up to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck, then gets up, and goes to the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife, "Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail, and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you, just give him satisfaction. This guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which the wife responds, "He was not kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong, honey, I love you, too."