經典英語笑話小短文大全

　　民間笑話是一種頗受人們喜愛的民間敘事型別,材料豐富,有廣泛的現實基礎。小編精心收集了經典英語笑話小短文，供大家欣賞學習!

　　經典英語笑話小短文：Ringing Bells

　　A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife, "You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets, BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole, BELL 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go.

　　"From now on when I say BELL 1, I want you to strip naked. When say BELL 2, I want you to jump in bed. And when I say BELL 3, we are going to make love all night." The next night he came home from work and yelled, "BELL 1!" The wife promptly took all her clothes off.

　　When he yelled "BELL 2!", the wife jumped into bed. When he yelled "BELL 3!", they began making love. After a few minutes the wife yelled "BELL 4!" "What the hell is BELL 4?" asked the husband?

　　"ROLL OUT MORE HOSE," she replied, "YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE."

　　經典英語笑話小短文：Brave Cat

　　The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of tears. "Darling, whatever is the matter?" he asked.

　　"Sweetheart," she sobbed, "the most terrible thing has happened! I cooked my very first Beef Bourguignon for you, and I got it out of the oven to season it, and the phone rang. When I came back from answering the phone," she sobbed again. "I found that the cat had eaten it!"

　　"Don't worry, darling," said her husband. "Don't cry. We can get a new cat tomorrow."

　　經典英語笑話小短文：First Fight

　　Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called her minister. "Reverend," she wailed, "John and I had a DREADFUL fight!"

　　"Calm down, my child," said the minister, "it's not half as bad as you think. Every marriage has to have its first fight!"

　　"I know, I know!" said Joanna. "But what am I going to do with the BODY?

　　經典英語笑話小短文：John Smith

　　This woman dies, and when she gets to heaven she asks Saint Peter, "Would it be possible for me to get together with my dear departed husband? He died many years ago." Saint Peter asks, "What's his name?" "John Smith," replies the woman. "Gee," says Saint Peter, "we've got a lot of John Smiths up here. But sometimes we can identify people by their last words. Do you happen to remember what his last words were?" The woman thinks for a moment, then says, "Oh yes! I remember them! He said that if I ever slept with another man after he was gone, he would roll over in his grave." "Oh!" says Saint Peter. "You mean Whirling John Smith!"

　　經典英語笑話小短文：3 Requirements

　　There once was a lady who was tired of living alone. So she put an ad in the paper which outlined her requirements. She wanted a man who 1*** would treat her nicely, 2*** wouldn't run away from her, and 3*** would be good in bed. Then, one day, she heard the doorbell ring. She answered it, and there on the front porch was a man in a wheel chair who didn't have any arms or legs.

　　"I'm here about the ad you put in the paper. As you can see, I have no arms so I can't beat you, and I have no legs so I can't run away from you."

　　"Yes, but are you good in bed?"

　　"How do you think I rang the doorbell?"