各種英語版冷笑話大全

　　笑話偶爾也給人以啟示,並上升到哲理層面,引發人們深層次的思考。下面是小編帶來的各種英語版冷笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　各種英語版冷笑話篇一

　　Keep Your Head

　　頭腦要保持冷靜!

　　A young man was working in the produce section of a grocery store when a customer asked him for half a head of cabbage.

　　有一個年輕人在一家雜貨店的農產部門工作，一天一位顧客要向他買半顆包心菜

　　"Sir, we don't sell half heads of anything. "

　　“先生，我們東西都沒有賣半顆的。”

　　"Well, I insist; 1 0nly want half a head. "

　　“哎呀，我就買半顆，我只要半顆。”

　　"I'll ask the manager. "

　　“我要問問經理才行。”

　　The young man walked to the manager's office and, not realizing that the customer had followed him, said to the manager,

　　那名年輕人走到經理的辦公室，不知道那位顧客尾隨著他，他對經理說道：

　　"Sir, some asshole wants to buy just half a head of cabbage. "

　　“經理，有個渾蛋只要買半顆包心菜。”

　　Turning and noticing the customer, he quickly added,

　　他轉身發現那名顧客，立刻又補充說：

　　"And this gentleman wants the other half. "

　　“而這位先生要買另一半。”

　　Later, the manager took the young man aside and said,

　　稍後，經理把他拉到一旁說道：

　　"That was quick thinking, young fellow. We can use bright lads like you. If I hear of a higher position opening up, I'll keep you in mind. "

　　“年輕人，你反應真快。我們需要像你這麼聰明的人，如果有較高的職位空缺，我會記得你的。”

　　Sure enough, a few weeks later the manager told the young man that an assistant manager's spot had become vacant in the company's store in Edmonton.

　　幾個星期之後，經理告訴那名年輕人在艾得蒙敦分店有個襄理的職位空缺。

　　"Edmonton!" blurted out the young man. "Why, there's nothing in Edmonton but hookers and hockey',event***">hockey playersi"

　　“艾得蒙敦!”年輕人叫了出來，“那兒有的只是妓女和曲棍球選手而已。”

　　"Young man , my wife happens to come from Edmonton! "

　　“年輕人，我太太剛好來自艾得蒙敦!”

　　"No kidding, sir; what posltion does she play?"

　　“真的嗎?經理，那她是打哪一個位置呢?”

　　各種英語版冷笑話篇二

　　Home Sweet Home

　　還是家裡好

　　A surgeon returned from a safari in Africa.

　　一位外科醫生剛從非洲狩獵回來。

　　"How did it go?" asked his colleagues.

　　“這次打獵順利嗎?，’同僚問道。

　　"Oh , it was very disappointing," replied the surgeon.

　　“喔，實在太令人失望了，”外科醫生答道。

　　"I didn't kill a thing. In fact, I'd have been better off staying here in the hospital. "

　　“我什麼也沒獵殺到，實際上，還是待在醫院裡比較有成就感。”

　　各種英語版冷笑話篇三

　　You Do Have a Prololem

　　你真是有問題了!

　　A man reported to his doctor that he was having trouble going to the bathroom',event***">bathroom.

　　一位老兄對醫生說明他上廁所有困難。

　　"Do you urinate in the morning?" asked the doctor.

　　“你早上有小便嗎?，’醫生問他。

　　"Yeah, every morning at six o'clock. "

　　“有，每天早上六點鐘。”

　　"And how are your bowel movements?"

　　“那大便情況如何?"

　　"Seven o'clock every morning, just like clockwork. "

　　“像時鐘一樣，我每天準時七點鐘上大號。”

　　"So what's the problem?"

　　“那問題到底出在哪裡呢?"

　　"I don't get up until eight. "

　　“我八點鐘才起床。”

　　各種英語版冷笑話篇四

　　The Blgger They Are the Harder They Fa

　　爬得越跌得越重

　　The psychiatrist was a bit perturbed. He had cured his patient of his delusions but still the man did not seem happy.

　　一位心理醫師感到有些厭煩。他已治好一名病人的幻想症，但那名患者似乎仍然不快樂。

　　"What's the matter, Mr. Jones?" he inquired. "Aren't you glad to be dealing with the world realistically?"

　　“到底是怎麼一回事，瓊斯先生?”他詢問道。“難道你不喜歡踏實地面對周圍的一切嗎?

　　"Oh, sure. Doc, sure .... Only, last year I was Genghis Khan and now I' m nobody ! "

　　“喔，是的，醫生，我是很願意。只是去年我還是成吉思汗，現在我成了無名之輩!”