英語課前一分鐘演講笑話

　　幽默與笑話是人們生活中的精神樂趣,是人們智慧與文化的結晶。在特定語境下,利用語音模糊、詞語模糊、句義模糊以及標點模糊等構成幽默與笑話,能收到妙趣橫生的表達效果,具有一定的探討價值。 下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　Improvement

　　One student to another: "How are your English lessons coming along?"

　　"Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me."

　　進步

　　一位學生對另一位說：“你的 英語 最近學的怎麼樣?”

　　“很好，我過去不懂英國人說話，可現在是英國人不懂我的話了。”

　　篇二

　　One night just before Valentine's Day a woman had a lovely dream about a beautiful necklace.

　　When she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamt that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it could mean?"

　　"You'll find out on Valentine's Day." he said with a knowing smile.

　　On Valentine's Day, the man gave his delighted wife a beautifully wrapped package.

　　Excitedly, she opened it, only to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams".

　　情人節前一天，一個女人做了個項鍊的夢。

　　當她醒來，她和她丈夫說：“我剛夢到你情人節給了我一根珍珠項鍊。你說那是什麼含義呢?”。

　　“到情人節那天你就會知道了。”他笑著說。

　　情人節那天，男人給了他老婆一個禮盒。

　　她很興奮地開啟，看到的卻是一本書，書名是《夢的解析》。

　　篇三

　　One day a little white rabbit went to a bakery and asked, "Have you got 100 buns?"

　　一天有隻小白兔來到麵包店問：“請問你們有100個小麵包嗎?”

　　The shopkeeper answered, "Sorry, we don't have that many."

　　老闆回答：“抱歉我們沒有那麼多。”

　　"Oh, that's a pity!" said the rabbit and left, disappointed.

　　“哦，太遺憾了。”小白兔失望地離開了。

　　The second day the little white rabbit went to the bakery again and asked, "Have you got 100 buns?"

　　第二天小白兔又來到那個麵包店問：“請問你們有100個小麵包嗎?”

　　The shopkeeper again answered, "Sorry, we don't have that many."

　　老闆仍回答：“抱歉我們沒有那麼多。”

　　"Oh, it's a pity," said the rabbit, and again left, disappointed.

　　“哦，太遺憾了。”小白兔又失望地離開了。

　　The third day the little white rabbit went again to the bakery and asked, "Have you got 100 buns?"

　　第三天小白兔依然來到那家麵包店，問：“請問你們有100個小麵包嗎?”

　　"Oh, yes we have 100 buns today!" the shopkeeper answered gladly.

　　“啊是的，今天我們有100個小麵包啦!”老闆高興地回答。

　　"That's great, I'll buy two, thank you!"

　　“那太好啦!我買2個，謝謝!”

　　The shopkeeper stood silently.

　　老闆無語了……

　　篇四

　　My Sister's Fingers

　　Teacher: Kevin, why are you late this time?

　　Kevin: Please sir, I bruised two fingers knocking in a nail at home.

　　Teacher: I don't see any bandages.

　　Kevin: Oh, they weren't my fingers! I told my little sister to hold the nail.

　　我妹妹的手指頭

　　老師：凱溫，這次你怎麼又遲到了?

　　凱溫：對不起，老師，我在家釘釘子，砸壞了兩個手指頭。

　　老師：怎麼沒有扎繃帶呀?

　　凱溫：噢，砸的不是我的手指頭，我叫小妹妹扶著釘子的。

　　篇五

　　The Climate of New Zealand

　　Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?

　　Matthew: Very Cold, sir.

　　Teacher: Wrong.

　　Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!

　　紐西蘭的氣候

　　老師：馬修，紐西蘭的氣候怎麼樣?

　　馬修：先生，那裡的天氣很冷。

　　老師：錯了。

　　馬修：可是，先生!從那兒運來的豬肉都凍得硬邦邦的。