英語開心一刻幽默小笑話

　　笑話和幽默的感染力,很大程度上依賴於修辭格的運用。把修辭格有意識地運用到笑話幽默的創作中去,能夠為人們提供更好的精神產品。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　Looking very unhappy, a poor man entered a doctor's consulting-room.

　　"Doctor," he said, "you must help me. I swallowed a penny about a month ago."

　　"Good heavens, man!" said the doctor. "Why have you waited so long? Why don't you come to me on the day you swallowed it?"

　　"To tell you the truth, Doctor," the poor man replied, "I didn't need the money so badly then."

　　一個看起來很難受的窮人走進大夫的診室。

　　"大夫!"他說，"幫幫我!一個月前我吞了一分硬幣!"

　　"天哪，"大夫說，"早幹嘛去了?你當時怎麼不來看?"

　　"實話告訴您吧，大夫，"窮人說，"我當時還不缺錢!"

　　篇二

　　剛來加拿大的時候去買快餐，英文很爛我就說i want combo one,***大號的***後來那個人又說了一大堆英文問我要洋蔥cheese***乳酪***麼之類的?我聽不懂就一個勁說i want combo one,

　　後來我看見那個人像中國人，我就直接問他Can you spell Chinese? ***你能拼寫中文嗎?***

　　然後那個人鬱悶了好久我為啥問他能能拼chinese..

　　後來才發現是speak不是spell............

　　篇三

　　Do You Know Santa's True Profession?

　　Consider the following:

　　1. You never actually see Santa, only his "assistants."

　　2. Santa keeps his job until he decides to retire.

　　3. Santa doesn't really do the work; he directs a bunch of helpers to do all his work for him, but he's the one who everybody credits with the work.

　　4. Santa doesn't work a 40-hour week.

　　5. Santa travels a lot.

　　Santa is obviously a senior faculty member with tenure!

　　聖誕老人的真實職業是什麼?

　　考慮以下幾點

　　1. 你其實從來沒見過聖誕老人，你看見的都是他得助手***他得助手真的好多，除了過聖誕節的所有父母外，還有職業“聖誕老人”***

　　2. 聖誕老人不想退休，就可以一直當他的聖誕老人。

　　3. 聖誕老人不會做實事，他都是指揮一堆幫手幫他做完所有的事情，但是事情做得好還是不好，功績和責任都算聖誕老人的。

　　4. 聖誕老人實行的可不是朝九晚五雙休制。

　　5. 聖誕老人經常旅行

　　聖誕老人顯然是一個高階職員***please, 這世界上還有比他的工作更好的工作嗎?***

　　篇四

　　A tourist was visiting New Mexico and was amazed at the dinosaur bones lying about.

　　"How old are these bones?" the tourist asked an elderly Native American, who served as a guide.

　　"Exactly one hundred million and three years old.

　　"How can you be so sure?" inquired the tourist.

　　"Well," replied the guide, " a geologist came by here and told me these bones were one hundred million years old, and that was exactly three years ago.

　　一位遊客在新墨西哥遊覽。他對隨處可見的恐龍化石甚感驚奇。

　　“這些化石有多長的歷史?”遊客問一個上了年紀的當地美國人。他是作嚮導的。

　　“整整十億零三年了。” “你怎麼這麼肯定?”遊客問道。 “哦，”嚮導回答道，“一個地質學家來過這兒，他告訴我說這些化石有十億年了，再加上那是整整三年前的事了。”

　　篇五

　　An artist was part of an exhibition, and he asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings that were currently on display.

　　"I've got good news and bad news," the owner replied.

　　"Give me the good news first," the artist demanded.

　　"The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."

　　"That's wonderful!" the artist exclaimed, "What could the bad news possibly be?"

　　With concern, the gallery owner replied, "The gentleman in question was your doctor."

　　以為藝術家在一個畫廊辦了個展覽，他問店主是否有人對他參展的畫感興趣。

　　“我有一個好訊息和一個壞訊息。”店主回答。

　　“先告訴我好訊息。”畫家要求道。

　　“好訊息是一位紳士詢問了你的作品，還問它是否會在你死後增。我告訴他會的，然後他買下了你所有的15幅畫作。”

　　“那太棒了!”畫家驚歎。“那麼什麼會是壞訊息呢?”

　　店主想了想之後說：“問那個問題的是你的醫生”。