關於簡短英語冷笑話閱讀

　　笑話具有短小精悍、幽默風趣的特點,是一種深受人們喜愛的文體。有些笑話廣為流傳。人們笑過之後還能掩卷思考,獲得一些啟迪。本文是關於簡短英語冷笑話，希望對大家有幫助!

　　關於簡短英語冷笑話：Only In New York

　　A New York City cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl on her new shiny bike stops beside him.

　　"Nice bike," the cop says, "Did Santa bring it to you?" "Yep," the little girl says, "he sure did!"

　　The cop looks the bike over and hands the little girl a $5 ticket for a safety violation.

　　"Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of the bike." the cop explains.

　　The young girl looks up at the cop and says, "Nice horse you got there officer, did Santa bring it to you?"

　　"Yes, he did," chuckled the cop.

　　"You need to tell Santa that the ass belongs underneath the tail, and not on top of the horse".

　　關於簡短英語冷笑話：Stop That

　　One day little Johnny was in class when the teacher let go of a ripper of a fart. She then turns around and blames it on Johnny and says, "Johnny stop that!" Johnny then jumps onto his desk and says, "Which way did it go?"

　　關於簡短英語冷笑話：Generous Lawyer

　　One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

　　"Why are you eating grass?" he asked one man.

　　"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.

　　"Oh, come along with me then."

　　"But sir, I have a wife with two children!"

　　"Bring them along! And you, come with us too!", he said to the other man.

　　"But sir, I have a wife with six children!" the second man answered.

　　"Bring them as well!"

　　They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

　　The lawyer replied, "No problem, the grass at my home is about two feet tall."

　　關於簡短英語冷笑話： Edna Released From The Hospital

　　Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

　　Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out. When the medical director became aware of Edna's heroic act, he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered her to be mentally stable.

　　When he went to tell Edna the news, he said, "Edna I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the live of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness."

　　"The bad news is that, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am sorry, but he's dead." Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon did you say I can go home?"

　　關於簡短英語冷笑話：Effiency Expert

　　The efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked someone from the back of the audience. "I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips to the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying just a single item at a time. 'Hon,' I suggested, 'Why don't you try carrying several things at once?'" The voice from the back asked, "Did it save time?" The expert replied, "Actually, yes. It used to take her 20 minutes to get breakfast ready. Now I do it in seven."