幽默英語冷笑話故事精選

　　笑話是指以一句短語或一個小故事讓說話者和聽者之間覺得好笑，或是產生幽默感，另外一個行動***動作***型的笑話是以動作影響人的視覺及觀感，而感到好笑。本文是幽默英語冷笑話故事，希望對大家有幫助!

　　幽默英語冷笑話故事：Fried chicken

　　In class the teacher showed pictures of various birds. Then he asked one of the students, "What kind of bird do you like best, Jack?"

　　Jack thought a moment, then answered, "Fried chicken, sir."

　　老師在課堂上向學生們展示了各種各樣的鳥的照片。然後他問其中一名學生，“傑克，你最喜歡哪種鳥兒啊?”

　　傑克想了想，回答，“炸雞，老師。”

　　幽默英語冷笑話故事：I Have His Ear in My Pocket

　　Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"

　　"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.

　　"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.

　　"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

　　他的耳朵在我衣兜裡

　　伊凡鼻子流著血回到家裡。他媽媽問，“發生了什麼事?”

　　“一個男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡說。

　　“再見到他你能認出來嗎?”媽媽問。

　　“他走到哪裡我都能認出他，”伊凡說。“他的耳朵還在我衣兜裡呢。”

　　幽默英語冷笑話故事：How to be like a gentleman

　　Dick was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five. One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.

　　The children played for an hour, and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen. She gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him, "Now here's a knife, Dick. Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister, but remember to do it like a gentleman."

　　"Like a gentleman?" Dick asked. "How do gentlemen do it?"

　　"They always give the bigger piece to the other person." answered his aunt at once.

　　"Oh" said Dick. He thought about this for a few seconds. Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her,"Cut this cake in half, Catherine.".

　　迪克年齡七歲，他的妹妹凱瑟琳五歲。一天，媽媽把他們帶到姨媽家去玩，自己就到大城市去買些新的衣服。

　　孩子們玩了個把小時，在四點半的時候，姨媽領著迪克走進了廚房。她交給迪克一塊精美的蛋糕和一把刀子，並對他說：“喏，迪克，給你刀子，把這塊蛋糕一切為二，給你妹妹一塊。不過，你得記住要做得像一個紳士那樣。”

　　迪克問：“像一個紳士?紳士怎樣做呢?”

　　他姨媽馬上回答說：“紳士總是把大的一塊讓給別人的。”

　　迪克說了一聲“噢”。他對此想了一會，然後，他把蛋糕拿給妹妹，並對她說：“凱瑟琳，你來把這塊蛋糕一切為二吧。”

　　幽默英語冷笑話故事：Do You Know Santa's True Profession?

　　Consider the following:

　　1. You never actually see Santa, only his "assistants."

　　2. Santa keeps his job until he decides to retire.

　　3. Santa doesn't really do the work; he directs a bunch of helpers to do all his work for him, but he's the one who everybody credits with the work.

　　4. Santa doesn't work a 40-hour week.

　　5. Santa travels a lot.

　　Santa is obviously a senior faculty member with tenure!

　　聖誕老人的真實職業是什麼?

　　考慮以下幾點

　　1. 你其實從來沒見過聖誕老人，你看見的都是他得助手***他得助手真的好多，除了過聖誕節的所有父母外，還有職業“聖誕老人”***

　　2. 聖誕老人不想退休，就可以一直當他的聖誕老人。

　　3. 聖誕老人不會做實事，他都是指揮一堆幫手幫他做完所有的事情，但是事情做得好還是不好，功績和責任都算聖誕老人的。

　　4. 聖誕老人實行的可不是朝九晚五雙休制。

　　5. 聖誕老人經常旅行

　　聖誕老人顯然是一個高階職員***please, 這世界上還有比他的工作更好的工作嗎?***