聖誕節英語小笑話加中文

　　前蘇聯著名作家高爾基說過,“哪裡有人,哪裡就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　1

　　進天堂

　　Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

　　三名男子都死於平安夜，而後分別在天堂之門被聖彼得召見。

　　"In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

　　聖彼得說：“因為這個神聖的節日，你們每個人都必須有象徵聖誕節的物品才能進入天堂”。

　　The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle," he said. "You may pass through the pearly gates," Saint Peter said.

　　第一名男子從他得口袋裡掏出了個打火機，他打燃打火機說：“它代表蠟燭”。於是聖彼得就讓他進入了天堂。

　　The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells." Saint Peter said, "You may pass through the pearly gates."

　　第二個男子從口袋裡掏出一串鑰匙，他把鑰匙在手裡搖了搖說：“它們是鈴鐺”聖誕老人也讓他上了天堂。

　　The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's glasses.

　　第三個男子絕望的在口袋裡掏了半天，最後掏出了一副女人的眼鏡。

　　St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"

　　聖彼得挑了挑眉，看向這個男的，說：“你倒是說說這玩意兒代表什麼?”

　　The man replied, "They're Carol's."

　　男士答到：“她們是卡羅爾的”***最後的carol's，我看了好久才發現s前有個'，我還說眼鏡跟聖誕頌歌有半毛錢關係?***

　　2

　　A Christmas Gift 聖誕禮物

　　A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.

　　聖誕節來了，一位先生給他太太送的聖誕禮物是一個非常漂亮的鑽石戒子。

　　After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles."

　　他朋友聽到他買這麼奢侈的禮物後，說到：“她不是想要輛四驅車嗎”。

　　"She did," he replied. "But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?"

　　先生答：“是啊，***可以買到假鑽石***，可去哪裡能買一輛假吉普車呢?”

　　3

　　聖誕節晚宴上的餐前禱告

　　lee, a seven-year-old boy, was asked to say thanks for the christmas dinner. the family members bowed their heads in expectation. lee began his prayer, thanking god for his mommy, daddy, brothers, sister, grandma, and all his aunts and uncles. then he began to thank god for the food.

　　有個小男孩叫lee, 今年七歲，聖誕節晚餐開桌前，家人讓他做餐前禱告。家人都帶著期待的申請低頭看著他，lee開始做他得禱告，首先，他謝謝上帝賜予他爸爸媽媽，哥哥姐姐誒，奶奶還有他們家的所有叔叔嬸嬸。然後，他開始感謝上帝賜予他得聖誕節晚餐了。

　　he gave thanks for the turkey, the stuffing, the christmas pudding, even the cranberry sauce. then lee paused, and everyone waited ... and waited. after a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, "if i thank god for the brussels sprouts, won't he know that i'm lying?"

　　他感謝上帝賜予他火雞，餡兒餅，聖誕布丁和紅莓醬。然後lee停下來了 ，大家等啊等啊。。。。lee沉默了很長時間，然後抬起頭看著他媽媽說：“媽媽，如果我感謝上帝賜予我甘藍菜，他會知道我在撒謊嗎?”

　　p.s:

　　國外很多小孩子都不喜歡吃甘藍菜，不知道為什麼，看《絕望主婦》裡面lynette家的雙胞胎就非常討厭吃甘藍菜，請了保姆後還拿這個來做實驗，看看她們家保姆有沒有魅力讓兩個小鬼頭把甘藍菜吃下去。