讓人捧腹大笑的英文小笑話

　　冷笑話作為一種新興的口頭文類,有其鮮明的特色,而現有的定義和分類卻把冷笑話作為一種既成文字來加以分析,忽略了其生存語境。下面是小編帶來的 ，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　Business Just Started開張大吉

　　A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques.

　　一個年輕人的公司剛剛開張。他租用了漂亮的辦公室，辦公室內還放上了古董作裝飾。

　　Sitting there, he saw a man come in to the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working.

　　一個年輕人的公司剛剛開張。他租用了漂亮的辦公室，辦公室內還放上了古董作裝飾。

　　He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?" The man said, "Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines."

　　為顯示他是個成功的老闆，這位年輕的生意人拿起電話假裝正在談大買賣，張觜就是三、五個億，閉觜就說一切搞定、沒問題!好不容易電話“打”完，掛上聽筒，年輕人問進來的那人，“您有事嗎?”那人說，“有事，我是來給你開通電話的”。

　　篇二

　　Class Lass and Ass班級、情人和蠢驢

　　Professor Tom was going to meet his students on the next day, so he wrote some words on the blackboard which read as follows: "Professor Tom will meet the class tomorrow."

　　Tom教授打算第二天與他的學生見面，因此他在黑板上寫道：“Tom教授明天將和大家見面”。

　　A student, seeing his chance to display his sense of humor after reading the notice, walked up and erased the "c" in the word "class." The Professor noticing the laughter, wheeled around, walked back, looked at the student, then at the notice with the "c" erased--calmly walked up and erased the "l" in "lass", looked at the flabbergasted student and proceeded on his way.

　　一位學生看到這條通知後，覺得展示自己幽默感的機會來了，就走上前，將“class”中的“c”擦掉，教授聽到笑聲，轉過身走回來，看了看那位學生，又看看被改動過的通知，不動聲色地走上前，把“lass” 中的“l”擦掉，看了看那位目瞪口呆的學生，教授揚長而去。

　　篇三

　　You Can Marry Anyone of Them 你可以跟他們中任何一個結婚

　　One day a girl brings home her boyfriend and tells her father she wants to marry him.

　　一天，一個女孩把男孩子帶回家見父親，說要跟這個男孩結婚。

　　After talking to him for a while, he tells his daughter she can't do it because he's her half brother.

　　她父親跟男孩談了一會之後，對她說她不能嫁給這個男孩，因為男孩跟她其實是同父異母的兄弟。

　　The same problem happens again four more times! The girl starts to get pissed off.

　　之後，女孩又認識了另外四個男孩並一一帶回家見父親，請求父親同意他們結婚

　　She goes to her mom and says, "Mom... What have you been doing all your life? Dad's been going around laying every maiden in the town and now I can't marry any of the five guys I like because they have turned out to be my half brothers!!!"

　　但結果都是一樣，這些男孩竟然跟她都是同父異母!女孩真的是被氣壞了。她跟母親說，“媽，你這一輩子到底是怎麼過的?爸爸在鎮上到處胡搞，現在我都談到第五個男孩了，但現在一個都不能嫁，因為他們最後都是跟我一個爸爸”!

　　Her mom replies, "Don't worry darling, you can marry any one of them you want, he isn't really your dad."

　　女孩說完，她母親回答說，“親愛的，不用擔心，你可以跟他們中的任何一個結婚，你爸爸其實也，也不是你的親爹”。