關於高中英文笑話閱讀

　　在民間文學的各種體裁中 ,民間笑話的材料很多 ,也是時下最為流行的民間敘事型別。本文是關於高中英文笑話，希望對大家有幫助!

　　關於高中英文笑話：What's Your Name?

　　A guy walked into a pub and immediately noticed a young lady at the bar on her own. After a couple of drinks he decided to offer her a drink and make small talk. She accepted.

　　"What's your name?" he asked her.

　　"Carmen," she replied.

　　"That's a nice name. Did your mother or father name you that?"

　　"Neither. I changed my name when I was eighteen from Sharon to Carmen."

　　"Why did you do that?" he asked.

　　"Well," she explained, "I like men and I like cars, so that is how I got my name. What's your name?"

　　"Beerpussy," the man replied.

　　關於高中英文笑話：Replacing Lab Rats With Lawyers

　　The National Institute of Health ***NIH*** announced last week that they were going to start using lawyers instead of rats in their experiments. Naturally, the American Bar Association was outraged and filed suit. Yet, the NIH presented some very good reasons for the switch.

　　1. The lab assistants were becoming very attached to their little rats. This emotional involvement was interfering with the research being conducted. No such attachmentcould form for a lawyer.

　　2. Lawyers breed faster and are in much greater supply.

　　3. Lawyers are much cheaper to care for and the humanitarian societies won't jump all over you no matter what you're studying.

　　4. There are some things even a rat won't do.

　　關於高中英文笑話：Family Disgrace

　　There was a virgin that was going out on a date for the first time and she told her grandmother about it.

　　Her grandmother says, "Sit here and let me tell you about those young boys. "He is going to try to kiss you; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that."

　　She continued, "He is going to try to feel your breast; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that. He is going to try to put his hand between your legs; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that.

　　Then the grandmother said, "But, most importantly, he is going to try to get on top of you and have his way with you. You are going to like that, but don't let him do that. It willdisgrace the family."

　　With that bit of advice in mind, the granddaughter went on her date and could not wait to tell her grandmother about it.

　　The next day she told her grandmother that her date went just as the old lady said.

　　She said, "Grandmother, I didn't let him disgrace the family. When he tried, I turned him over, got on top of him and disgraced his family."

　　關於高中英文笑話：George Bush's Love Doctors

　　George W. Bush's wonderful gaffes and mangling of the English language has made him one of the most quoted US presidents in history, and launched a whole new generation of quotation books.

　　Here is one of his latest - and will surely rank as one of the greatest - Bushisms. It was spoken at a rally in Poplar Bluff in Missouri on September 6, 2004. He was referring to the issue of frivolous lawsuits running up the cost of health care, which he claims are driving obstetricians and gynecologists out of business.

　　"We got an issue in America. Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYNs aren't able to practice their" - there is a pregnant pause, as he gropes for the right word - "their love, with women all across the country."

　　American women are probably very relieved that these kind of 'love doctors' are being put out of business.

　　關於高中英文笑話：Moral Of The Story

　　One day little Billy went to school and the teacher told the kids to make a story at home and tell her the moral. The next day the teacher asks for the first volunteer and little Suzy says "my dad owns a farm and every Sunday we take the eggs into town. One Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs cracked." The teacher asks what the moral is. Suzy says "don't keep all your eggs in one basket".

　　The next person up was little Lucy. Little Lucy says "my dad also owns a farm and we put the eggs in an incubator. Last week only 8 of 12 hatched." Said Lucy "the moral is, don't count your chickens before they're hatched."

　　Next is little Billy. He says "my uncle Ted was in the Vietnamese War. His plane was shot down over enemy territory and he jumps out just before the plane crashes with a machine gun, a machete, and a case of beer. He drinks the case of beer on the way down and lands surrounded by enemies. He kills 70 with his machine gun and runs out of bullets. He kills 20 with his machete and the blade breaks. He kills 10 with his bare hands." The teacher asks if there is any possible moral for this story. Little Billy says "don't fuck with uncle Ted when he's been drinking!"