輕鬆生活英語笑話三則

　　“哪裡有人,哪裡就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調劑作用。下面小編為大家帶來，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　輕鬆生活英語笑話：傳教士買鸚鵡

　　Are you sure it doesnt scream, yell, or swear? asked the preacher.Oh absolutely. Its a religious parrot, the storekeeper assures him.Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lords prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm.Wonderful! says the preacher, but what happens if you pull both strings?I fall off my perch, you stupid fool! screeched the parrot.

　　“你確信它不會尖叫，大叫或詛咒別人嗎?”傳教士問。“哦，絕對不會。它是一隻虔誠的鸚鵡。”店主保證說。“你看見它腿上的這些細繩了嗎?當你拉動右面的這根，它會背誦天主經，當你拉動左面的那根，它會背誦讚美詩”“太棒了!”傳教士說，“但是如果我同時拉動兩條繩子，會發生什麼呢?”“我會從樹幹上掉下去的，你這個笨蛋!”鸚鵡尖聲說道。

　　輕鬆生活英語笑話：誰的心臟最好

　　A man has a heart attack and is brought to the hospital. The doctor tells him that he will not live unless he has a heart transplant right away. "you're in luck, two hearts just became available, so you will get to choose which one you want. One belongs to an attorney and the other to a social worker".The man quickly responds, "The attorney's"."Wait! Don't you want to know a little about them before you make your decision?"The man says, "I already know enough. Social workers have bleeding hearts and the attorney's probably never used his. So I'll take the attorney's!"　　In a courtroom, the judge sentenced a criminal to thirty years in prison and the prisoner said, "But Sir, I won’t live that long!"So the judge replied, "Don't worry, just do what you can!"

　　一個人心臟病突發被送進了醫院。醫生告訴他除非馬上做心臟移植手術，否則他將活不成了。“你很幸運，我們剛好有兩個心臟在這兒，所以你必須選擇其中一個。它們分別屬於一個律師和一個社會工作者。”病人很快回答：“律師的那個。”“等等!在作決定之前，難道你不需要了解多一點他們的情況嗎?”病人說：“我知道的夠多的了。社會工作者都是熱心人，而律師可能從來都沒有用過他的良心。所以我選擇律師的心臟。”

　　輕鬆生活英語笑話：不能讓他跑了

　　A male crab***螃蟹***met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. Wow, she thought, this crab is really special. I can't let him get away .So they got married immediately. The next day she noticed her new husband waking sideways like all the other crabs, and got upset. "What happened?" she asked. "You used to walk straight before we were married." "Oh, honey, " he replied, "I can't drink that much every day.

　　一隻雄蟹遇到一隻雌蟹，便要娶她為妻。她注意到他走路是直著走，而不是橫著走。哇!她想，這隻雄蟹可真特別，我可不能讓他跑了。因此他們立刻結婚了。 第二天，她又發現她的新郎像其他蟹一樣橫著走路了。她深感不安。“你怎麼了?”她問，“我們結婚前你可是直著走路的。” “哦，寶貝，”他回答說，“我不可能每天都喝那麼多。”