英語趣味笑話

　　下面是小編整理的，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　：汽車配件 Automobile Fittings

　　A lorry driver makes inquiry of a mountaineer, "Excuse me, where can I buy the auto accessories***附件*** in the neighborhood?"

　　Mountaineer says, "Some people usually drive heroic car on the road. There is a abrupt turn***急轉彎*** ahead not far from here, and a clough***深谷*** just below it, where you can find all kinds of the auto accessories. You will spend no money at all."

　　一個卡車司機向一山民打聽：“請問，這附近哪兒能買到汽車配件?”

　　山民說：“這條路上經常有人開英雄車，前面不遠處是個急轉彎，急轉彎的下面就是深谷，那深谷裡什麼樣的汽車配件都有——根本用不著花錢。”

　　：拍賣會上 At Auction Fair

　　At auction spot, someone has lost a bag, in which has the vital document.

　　The owner says, "Once who picked it up brings it to me, I will take out 200 dollars to remunerate reward him or her."

　　On hearing the news, another chap***小夥子，傢伙*** shouts out:" I reward 300 dollars."

　　拍賣會上，有人的包丟了，裡面裝有重要檔案。物主說：“有誰揀到送還，我將拿出200美元以表酬謝。”

　　話剛出口，就聽有人喊：“我出300美元。”

　　：The Doctor Knows Better

　　A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill."

　　"I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor.

　　Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive."

　　"Be quiet, " said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"

　　一個男人在街上被計程車撞倒送進了醫院。他的妻子站在他的床前對醫生說：“我想他傷得很厲害。”

　　醫生說：“恐怕他已經死了。”

　　聽到醫生的話，這個男人轉動著頭說：“我沒死，我還活著。”

　　妻子說：“安靜，醫生比你懂得多。”

　　：Now I have two skunks in there

　　"We have a skunk in the basement," shrieked the caller to the police dispatcher. "How can we get it out?"

　　"Take some bread crumbs," said the dispatcher, "and put down a trail from the basement out to the back yard. Then leave the cellar door open."

　　Sometime later the resident called back. "Did you get rid of it?" asked the dispatcher.

　　"No," replied the caller. "Now I have two skunks in there!"

　　“我們的地下室裡有一隻臭鼬，”打電話的人對警察排程員尖叫道。“我們怎樣才能把它弄出來?”

　　“弄一些麵包屑，”排程員說;“從地下室往外鋪一條小道直到後院。然後將地下室的門開啟。”

　　一段時間後，那人又打電話打了回來。“你們將它弄出來了嗎?”排程員問他。

　　“沒有，”打電話的人答道，“現在那兒有兩隻臭鼬了。

　　：One Side of the Case 一面之辭

　　A judge asked our group of potential jurors whether anyone should be excused, and one man raised his hand.

　　"I can't hear out of my left ear," the man told the judge.

　　"Can you hear out of your right ear?" the judge asked. The man nodded his head.

　　"You'll be allowed to serve on the jury," the judge declared. "We only listen to one side of the case at a time."

　　一位法官問我們這群修補陪審員是否有人應當免權。一個人舉起了手。

　　“我的左耳聽不見。”那人告訴法官。

　　“你的右邊耳朵聽得見嗎?”法官問道。那人點了點頭。

　　“你將被允許加入陪審團，”法官宣佈。“我們每次只聽一面之辭。”

　　：One Side of the Case 一面之辭

　　A judge asked our group of potential jurors whether anyone should be excused, and one man raised his hand.

　　"I can't hear out of my left ear," the man told the judge.

　　"Can you hear out of your right ear?" the judge asked. The man nodded his head.

　　"You'll be allowed to serve on the jury," the judge declared. "We only listen to one side of the case at a time."

　　一位法官問我們這群修補陪審員是否有人應當免權。一個人舉起了手。

　　“我的左耳聽不見。”那人告訴法官。

　　“你的右邊耳朵聽得見嗎?”法官問道。那人點了點頭。

　　“你將被允許加入陪審團，”法官宣佈。“我們每次只聽一面之辭。”