十個簡短的英語小笑話

　　笑話是一種頗受人們喜愛的民間敘事型別,材料豐富,有廣泛的現實基礎。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　篇1

　　The Right LegProctor***exceedingly angry***: "So you confess that this unfortunate freshmanwas kicked to this frog pond and drenched?Now what part did you take in this disgracefulaffair?"

　　Soph. ***meekly***:"The right leg, sir."

　　學監***非常生氣***：“現在你承認這可憐的新生被踢進這蛙池裡，渾身溼透?那麼你在這不光彩的事情裡扮演了什麼角色呢?”

　　二年級學生***恭順地***：“右腿，先生。”

　　篇2

　　The master, to impress on his pupils the need of thinking before speaking, told them tocount fifty before saying anything important, and one hundred if it was very important. Thenext day he was speaking, standing with his back to the fire, when he noticed several lipsmoving rapidly. Suddenly the whole class shouted: Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, a hundred. Yourcoat is on fire, sir!

　　老師為了讓學生記住先思考後發言，告訴他們在說出重要事情之前先數到50，如果是特別重要的事情，要先數到100。 第二天，當老師背靠著火爐講課時，發現好幾個學生的嘴脣在很快地不停地動。突然，全班學生一起喊道：“九十八，九十九，一百。老師，您的大衣著火了!”

　　篇3

　　I Could Do It Slower

　　我可以幹得慢一些

　　Patient: What do you charge for pulling a tooth?

　　病人：拔一顆牙收費多少?

　　Dentist: Fifty dollars.

　　牙醫：50美元。

　　Patient: Fifty dollars for a couple of minutes' work?

　　病人：只幾分鐘的活兒就要50美元?

　　Dentist: Well, I could do it slower, if you like.

　　牙醫：好的，如果你喜歡的話，我可以幹得慢一些。

　　篇4

　　Lifetime Warranty

　　終身保修

　　After burying his mother nine months earlier, a client of the local mortuary finally hadenough money to purchase the expensive coffin hed originally wanted. So we exhumed thebody and transferred his deceased mother into the new steel casket. "Whats so special aboutthis coffin?" I asked the funeral director. He replied, It has a lifetime warranty.

　　在將母親下葬9個月後，當地殯儀館的一個客戶終於攢夠了錢去買那副他早就相中的價值不菲的棺材了。他把母親的棺材挖了出來，將屍體轉移到了那副新的鋼製棺材中。“這副棺材有什麼特別?”我問葬禮的承辦人。他回答說，“這種棺材終生保修。

　　篇5

　　I Want Her to go Nuts

　　我要讓她發瘋

　　Mrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, Paint me with diamondearrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.

　　福林德斯夫人決定讓人給她畫肖像。她告訴那位肖像畫家說：“畫我帶著鑽石耳環、鑽石項鍊、祖母綠手鐲，還有紅寶石垂飾。”

　　But you're not wearing any of those things.

　　“但你現在沒帶這其中的任何一樣飾品。”

　　I know, said Mrs. Flinders. It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he'd remarryright away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry.

　　“我知道。”福林德斯夫人說，“萬一我先我丈夫死去，我肯定他會立刻再婚。我要讓那個女人為尋找這些珠寶而發瘋

　　篇6

　　Friend for Dinner

　　請朋友吃飯

　　Honey, said the husband to his wife, I invited a friend home for supper.

　　“親愛的，”丈夫對妻子說：“我邀請了一位朋友回家吃晚飯。”

　　What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I havent been shopping, all the dishes are dirty,and I dont feel like cooking a fancy meal!

　　“什麼?你瘋了嗎?我們的房子亂糟糟的，我很久沒有買過東西回來了，所有的碗碟都是髒的，還有，我可不想做一餐累死人的晚飯。”

　　I know all that.

　　“這些我全都知道。”

　　Then why did you invite a friend for supper?

　　“那你為什麼還要邀請朋友回來吃晚飯?”

　　Because the poor fools thinking about getting married.

　　“因為那個可憐的笨蛋正考慮要結婚呢。”

　　篇7

　　The Fourth Element

　　第四元素

　　Teacher: What are the four element of nature?

　　老師：自然界的四大元素是什麼?

　　Student: Fire, air, earth, and... and ...

　　學生：火、氣、和。。。和。。。

　　Teacher: And what? Just think it over, what do you wash your hands with?

　　老師：和什麼?想一想， 你用什麼洗手的?

　　Student: Soap!

　　學生：肥皂。

　　篇8

　　Boxing and Running

　　拳擊和賽跑

　　Dan is teaching his son how to box. As he does so, he left his friend, "This is a tough world, soI’m teaching my boy to fight."

　　丹在教他的兒子怎樣拳擊。他告訴他的朋友：“這是一個粗暴的世界，所以我要教我的兒子怎麼去拼搏。”

　　Friend: "But suppose he comes up against someone much bigger than he is, who’s also beentaught how to box."

　　朋友：“如果他碰上的對手是一個比他高大，健壯而且也會拳擊的人怎麼辦?”

　　Dan: "I’m teaching him how to run, too."

　　丹：“我也會教他怎麼樣賽跑呢。”

　　篇9

　　Make your fortune

　　計劃你的將來

　　"How did you make your fortune?"

　　“你是怎麼計劃你的將來的?”

　　"I became the partner of a rich man.He had the money and I had the experience."

　　“我變成一個富人的合夥人，他有錢，我有經驗。”

　　"How did that help?"

　　“那有什麼用?”

　　"Now he has the experience and I the money."

　　現在他有經驗了，我有錢。”

　　篇10

　　The Looney Bin

　　瘋人院

　　Late one night at the insane asylum ***瘋人院***one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!”Anotherone said, "How do you know?" The first inmate said, "God told me!" Just then, a voice fromanother room shouted, "I did not!"

　　一天晚上，在瘋人院裡，一個病人說：“我是拿破崙!”另一個說：“你怎麼知道?”第一個人說：“上帝對我說的!”一會兒，一個聲音從另一個房間傳來：“我沒說!”