關於英文笑話故事閱讀

　　笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆。與此同時,笑話也是人們反對極權和專制制度的有力武器。小編整理了關於英文笑話故事，歡迎閱讀!

　　關於英文笑話故事：A Puzzling Puzzle

　　A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have akiller jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started." Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

　　Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

　　He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then..." He sighed...

　　"Let's put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box..."

　　關於英文笑話故事：The Detection of Dumb

　　Three blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol.

　　The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So y'all want to be cops, huh?"

　　The blondes all nodded.

　　The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a folder. Sitting back down, he opened it and pulled out a picture, and said, "To be a detective, you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities, such as scars and so forth." So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds.

　　"Now," he said, "did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?"

　　The blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He has only one eye!"

　　The detective shook his head and said, "Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face! You're dismissed!"

　　The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office.

　　The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back and said, "What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?"

　　"Yes! He only has one ear!"

　　The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed, "Didn't you hear what I just told the other lady? This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear!! You're excused too!"

　　The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.

　　The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said, "This is probably a waste of time, but..." He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, "All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?"

　　The blonde said, "I sure did. This man wears contact lenses."

　　The detective frowned, took another look at the picture and began looking at some of the papers in the folder.

　　He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, "You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts! How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?"

　　The blonde rolled her eyes and said, "Well, Helloooo! With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses.

　　關於英文笑話故事：You Bet Your Life

　　Bob, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM.

　　He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10:00 news was now on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a tall building preparing to jump.

　　The blonde looked at Bob and said, "Do you think he'll jump?" Bob said, "You know, I bethe'll jump."

　　The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."

　　Bob placed $20 on the bar and said, "You're on!"

　　Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death.

　　The blonde was very upset and handed her $20 to Bob, saying, "fair's fair. Here's your money."

　　Bob replied, "I can't take your money; I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and so I knew he would jump."

　　The blonde replied, "I did too, but I didn't think he'd do it again!"

　　Bob took the money.

　　關於英文笑話故事：The Handy-Woman

　　A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.

　　She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do. "Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said. How much will you charge me?" The blonde quickly responded, "How about $50?"

　　The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need was in the garage.

　　The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?" He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it? The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes we've been getting by e-mail lately."

　　A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" the husband asked. "Yes," the blonde replied, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her.

　　"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porsche, it's a Lexus."

　　關於英文笑話故事：Does It Hurt When I Do This?

　　A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and claims that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

　　"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."

　　The redhead takes her finger, pushes on her left knee and screams in pain. Then she pushes her elbow and screams in even more. She pushes her stomach and screams and then she pushes her ankle and screams even louder. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

　　The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?

　　"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."

　　"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."