爆笑英語笑話故事欣賞

　　笑容能使其貌不揚的人顯得神采奕奕。因此多看看英語笑話可以讓自己笑口常開。小編分享爆笑英語笑話故事，希望可以幫助大家!

　　爆笑英語笑話故事：Rope or Ox?

　　繩子還是公牛?

　　The man in the prison asked a new comer why he was sent there. The new comer answered," Iam out of luck, I think. A few days ago I was walking in the street when I saw a piece of dirtyrope. I thought nobody wanted it and so I picked it up and took it home."

　　在監獄裡，一個人問新來的犯人為什麼被關進來。新來的犯人回答說：“我想我真是倒黴。幾天前我在街上走的時候，看到一根髒繩子，以為沒人要了，便撿起來帶了回家。”

　　"But it is not against the law to pick up a piece of rope and take home."

　　“但是，撿一根繩子帶回家並不犯法啊!”

　　"I told you I had bad luck, didn't I?" the man sighed, "The trouble is that I didn't notice therewas an ox at the other end of that rope."

　　“我告訴過你我倒黴了吧?”那個人嘆了口氣，“麻煩的就是我沒有注意到繩子的那一頭還有一頭公牛。”

　　爆笑英語笑話故事：I Could Do It Slower

　　我可以幹得慢一些

　　Patient: What do you charge for pulling a tooth?

　　病人：拔一顆牙收費多少?

　　Dentist: Fifty dollars.

　　牙醫：50美元。

　　Patient: Fifty dollars for a couple of minutes' work?

　　病人：只幾分鐘的活兒就要50美元?

　　Dentist: Well, I could do it slower, if you like.

　　牙醫：好的，如果你喜歡的話，我可以幹得慢一些。

　　爆笑英語笑話故事：Lifetime Warranty

　　終身保修

　　After burying his mother nine months earlier, a client of the local mortuary finally hadenough money to purchase the expensive coffin hed originally wanted. So we exhumed thebody and transferred his deceased mother into the new steel casket. "Whats so special aboutthis coffin?" I asked the funeral director. He replied, It has a lifetime warranty.

　　在將母親下葬9個月後，當地殯儀館的一個客戶終於攢夠了錢去買那副他早就相中的價值不菲的棺材了。他把母親的棺材挖了出來，將屍體轉移到了那副新的鋼製棺材中。“這副棺材有什麼特別?”我問葬禮的承辦人。他回答說，“這種棺材終生保修。

　　爆笑英語笑話故事：I Want Her to go Nuts

　　我要讓她發瘋

　　Mrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, Paint me with diamondearrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.

　　福林德斯夫人決定讓人給她畫肖像。她告訴那位肖像畫家說：“畫我帶著鑽石耳環、鑽石項鍊、祖母綠手鐲，還有紅寶石垂飾。”

　　But you're not wearing any of those things.

　　“但你現在沒帶這其中的任何一樣飾品。”

　　I know, said Mrs. Flinders. It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he'd remarryright away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry.

　　“我知道。”福林德斯夫人說，“萬一我先我丈夫死去，我肯定他會立刻再婚。我要讓那個女人為尋找這些珠寶而發瘋