大學英語笑話故事精選

　　在交際場合,能恰到好處地講個笑話或自創一個幽默,不僅可以體現自己的語言水平,還可以提升個人魅力。本文是大學英語笑話故事，希望對大家有幫助!

　　大學英語笑話故事：二戰伊始

　　This elderly Italian guy goes to his parish priest to confess.

　　一位年長的義大利男人來向他的神父告解。

　　"Well, Father," began the old man, "At the beginning of World War II a beautiful Jewish woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans. So I hid her in my attic, and they never found her."

　　他說：“神父，二戰伊始，一個美麗的猶太女人來敲我的門，要把她藏起來不讓德國人找到。我於是把她藏在閣樓裡，德國人也的確沒能找到她。”

　　"That's a wonderful thing," interjected the priest, "But it's certainly nothing you need to confess!" "It's gets worse Father," continued the elderly fellow, "I was weak and I told her that she had to repay me for hiding her, by marrying me."

　　“這是件好事兒啊!”神父打斷他說，“你根本沒必要為這事兒來找我告解啊!” “但後來好事兒變成了壞事兒，”這個老人繼續說到，“我不夠堅定，我告訴她因為我幫了忙所以她必須以身相許來回報我。”

　　The priest contemplated this disclosure for a minute and then responded, "Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a very large risk. You would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her. I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil of your acts, and judge you kindly."

　　神父想了一陣，回答說：“恩……那是個艱難的時期，你冒了很大風險。如果德國人發現你把她藏起來，你肯定會很慘。我相信，以上帝的智慧和寬容，他一定能從你的善與惡裡找的平衡，饒恕你的罪。”

　　"Thank you Father," said the old man. "That's a load off my mind! Can I ask another question?"

　　“謝謝你神父!你這麼說我輕鬆多了!我能再問個問題嗎?”

　　"Of course, my son," said the priest.

　　“你問，孩子。”

　　The old man asked, "Do I have to tell her that the war is over?"

　　“我是不是也必須告訴她二戰已經結束了呢?”

　　大學英語笑話故事：錢不用找了

　　Selling secondhand books at our church bazaar, I got into an argument with a prospective customer. He was interested in buying The Pocket Book of Ogden Nash but claimed it wasoverpriced at 35 cents. Other paperbacks were selling for ten or 15 cents each.

　　在教堂的義賣市上賣舊書時，我與一名準備買東西的顧客發生了一場爭論。他對購買袖珍奧金.納什集頗感興趣，但是說它要三十五美分開價過高。其它的平裝書每本才賣十或十五美分。

　　I pointed out that the book was in good condition. Nash was a fun poet, and it was for a good cause. He said it was a matter of principle. Ultimately, I agreed to sell him the book for 15 cents.Triumphant, he paid with a $10 bill. "Keep the change," he said.

　　我指出這本書儲存狀況頗好，納什是個有趣的詩人，這個要價是合理的。他說這是個原則問題。最終，我同意以十五美分的價格將這本書賣給他。他得意洋洋，拿出一張十美元的票子付帳。“零錢不用找了。”他說。

　　大學英語笑話故事：地獄來信

　　An Illinois man left the snowballed streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.

　　一個伊利諾伊州男人離開他已經開始下雪的芝加哥的家、要去南方的福羅裡達州度假。他的太太也正好在福羅裡達出差，準備第二天跟他碰面。他到了酒店之後，打算先給她太太去一封郵件。

　　Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor dead.

　　因為找不到寫下他太太郵件地址的那張紙條，所以他決定憑記憶發出這封信。可惜，他在輸入地址的時候漏掉了一個字母，因而把這封郵件發到了另一位夫人的郵箱，這位夫人的牧師丈夫頭天才剛剛過世。這個悲傷的寡婦開啟郵箱，讀完信後哀嚎一聲、倒在地板上就死了。

　　At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

　　她的家人聞聲趕來，發現電腦螢幕上留著這麼一封信：

　　Dearest Wife,

　　親愛的老婆：

　　Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

　　我剛剛住進來，一切都準備好了，就等你來。

　　Your Loving Husband.

　　你親愛的老公。

　　P.S. Sure is hot down here.

　　另：這下面還真是熱。***原意指福羅裡達州在芝加哥南部***