關於七年級短篇英語笑話

　　笑話一般比較短小,喜劇性很強,普遍存在於人們的日常生活中。笑話的娛樂作用可以減輕人的心理壓力,促進身體健康。小編分享，希望可以幫助大家!

　　： Electric Chair

　　A murderer, sitting in the electric chair, was about to be executed. "Have you any last requests? asked the chaplain. "Yes," replied the murderer. "Will you hold my hand?"

　　：Presidents And The Titanic

　　Bill Clinton, George Bush and George Washington were on the Titanic. As the boat was sinking, George Washington heroically shouts, ''Save the women!'' George Bush hystericallyscreeches, ''Screw the women!'' And Bill Clinton smirks and purrs, ''Do we have time?''

　　：Snip Snip

　　A midget complained to his doctor that his testicles ached all the time.

　　The physician told the midget to drop his pants. The doctor then lifted him up onto the table to take a look.

　　Putting one finger under the left testicle, the doctor had the midget cough. "Hmmm" said the doctor. Then, putting his finger under the right testicle, the doc asked the midget to cough again.

　　"Ahhh!" said the doctor, as he reached for his surgical scissors. Snip, snip, snip on the right side & then snip, snip, snip on the left side.

　　The doctor then told the midget to pull up his pants and see if he still ached.

　　The midget was delighted with the result. He walked around the doc's office and his testicles did not ache.

　　"What did you do Doc?" he asked.

　　The doc replied, "I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots."

　　：I Paid

　　A man in a bar has a couple of beers and the bartender tells him he owes $6.50.

　　"But I paid, don't you remember?" says the customer.

　　"Okay," says the bartender, "if you said you paid, you did."

　　The man then goes outside and tells the first person he sees that the bartender can't keep track of whether his customers have paid.

　　The second man then ruses in, orders a beer and later pulls the same stunt.

　　The barkeeper replies, "If you say you paid, I'll take your word for it."

　　Soon the customer goes into the street, sees an old friend, and tells him how to get free drinks.

　　The man hurries into the bar and begins to drink highballs when suddenly,

　　the bartender leans over and says, "You know, a funny thing happened in here tonight. Two men were drinking beer, neither paid and both claimed that they did. The next guy who tries that is going to get punched right on the face."

　　"Don't bother me with your troubles," the final patron responds. "Just give me my change and I'll be on my way."

　　： The Other Side

　　A blonde was staring dumfounded at a rushing river blocking her path. As she wondered how to cross, she saw another blonde on the other side. She yelled "Hey, can you help me get to the other side?"

　　The other blonde replied "You ARE on the other side!!!!"