史上最好笑的英語笑話

　　冷笑話是近幾年新興的一種語言現象,它輕鬆詼諧、別具一格,給我們緊張的生活增添了幾分輕鬆的情趣,它一出現便受到了大多數人的喜愛。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　：Who is in the shop to take care of it 那誰在店裡管事啊?

　　The owner of a grocery was on his deathbed. The entire family had gathered in his bed room weeping and wailing.

　　At last the old man looked at them with a worried expression, seeming as if the wanted to speak. His wife and children all pressed forward to hear what he would say.

　　"Is mama here?" he asked in a very feeble voice.

　　"Yes," answered his wife.

　　"Is the whole family here?" he said.

　　"Yes," replied his elder son.

　　This made him so anxious that he suddenly struggled to shout, "Then who is in the shop to take care of it?"

　　一家雜貨店的老闆快要死了，全家人都聚在他的睡房裡哀傷的慟哭。

　　最後，老闆神情憂慮地看著他們，好像有話要說。他的妻子和兒女都擁到前邊去聽他說什麼。

　　他聲音非常虛弱地問道：“媽媽在這裡嗎?”

　　“在”，他的妻子回答說。

　　他說：“全家都在這裡嗎?”

　　“是的，”他的大兒子回答說。

　　這時他焦慮不安地忽然掙扎著大叫道：“那誰在店裡管事呀?”

　　：An interview with a stateman 快速採訪

　　A news reporter said to a great stateman, "I have come to interview you, sir."

　　The great stateman said, "Well, go back to write your interview. Then let me see it."

　　"Here it is," said the reporter.

　　一個新聞記者對一個大政治家說：“我是來採訪閣下的。”

　　大政治家說：“嗯，回去寫你的採訪記吧。寫好後給我看看。”

　　“已經寫好了，這就是。”記者說。

　　：His reason 他的理由

　　A young writer was hoping that the editor would accept his novel. But the editor said, "You have no reason to ask me to publish your novel. It's not good enough."

　　The dismayed young writer seemed lost in thought, and then said, "I enclosed a stamp every time for you to return the rejected manuscripts. I think if you accept my novel, you may keep the stamp."

　　一個青年作者渴望主編會接受他寫的小說。可是主編對他說：“你沒有理由要求我發表你的小說，它不夠好嘛。”

　　失望的青年作者好像沉思了一會，然後說：“我每次都附了郵票供你退稿時用，我想你若接受了我的小說，就可以留下郵票啦。”

　　：Who is right 誰是對的

　　After the couple's quarreling, the husband shouted: "You should remember that no matter what tine it is, what the man is thinking of is right, and his judgment is correct, but you women are always do the opposite."

　　The wife answered, "Yes, that you chose me to be your wife is right, but my choosing you as my husband is a big mistake!"

　　夫妻吵架後，丈夫嚷道：“你該記住，無論什麼時候，男人的思考都是對的，判斷準確無誤，而女人卻恰恰相反。”

　　妻子回答道：“是呀，你選我做妻子是絕對正確的，而我選你做丈夫是大錯特錯!”

　　：The farmer and barber 農場主和理髮師

　　When life was very hard, a farmer said to a barber: "Now corn's lower in price. I think you should shave for half price."

　　"I can't, sir," said the barber, "I really should charge more because when corn's cheap, farmers are unhappy and worried. All of them make such long faces that I have twice the ground to go over."

　　生活很艱難的時候，一個農場主對理髮師說：“現在糧食跌價了，你給人刮臉也應該只收半價。”

　　“不行啊，先生。”理髮師說，“其實我應該多收一點錢的，因為糧食跌價了，農場主都很不高興了，發愁了，一個個都愁得把臉拉得很長。我要刮的地方比原來大了一倍啦。”