關於有趣的英語笑話大全

　　冷笑話作為一種新興的語言現象，越來越受到大家的關注，尤其在網路、雜誌、微博、電影上十分盛行。冷笑話不同於一般的笑話，以其獨特的制笑機制，能瞬間製造出一種特殊氛圍。小編分享關於有趣的英語笑話，希望可以幫助大家!

　　關於有趣的英語笑話：Putting It In

　　A guy enters confessional and says to the priest with guilt, "I had an affair...almost."

　　The priest says, "What do you mean ’almost?’"

　　The guy says, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed against each other, but then I stopped."

　　"In the eyes of the Lord, rubbing against each other is the same as putting it in," says the priest. "For your penance, say five Hail Mary’s and put $20 in the poor box."

　　The guy leaves the confessional, says his prayers, then walks over to the poor box. He pauses for a moment then starts to leave.

　　The priest, seeing this, quickly runs over to him and says, "You didn’t put any money in the poor box!"

　　The guy stops and says, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $20 on the box, and in the eyes of the Lord, that’s the same as putting it in."

　　關於有趣的英語笑話：The Way To Heaven

　　The nun teaching Sunday School was speaking to her class one morning and

　　she asked the question, "When you die and go to Heaven... which part of

　　your body goes first?"

　　Suzy raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands."

　　Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?"

　　Suzy replied, "Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in

　　front of you and God just takes your hands first."

　　"What a wonderful answer!" the nun said.

　　Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sister, I think it's your

　　legs."

　　The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face.

　　"Now, Little Johnny, why do you think it would be your legs?"

　　Little Johnny said, "Well, I walked into Mommy and Daddy's bedroom the

　　other night. Mommy had her legs straight up in the air and she was saying, "Oh God,I'm coming!"

　　If Dad hadn't pinned her down, we'd have lost her."

　　The nun fainted

　　關於有趣的英語笑話：A Dark Confession

　　A woman takes a lover home during the day, while her husband is at work. Unbeknownst to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet.

　　Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she puts the lover in the closet with the little boy.

　　The little boy says, "Dark in here."

　　The man says, "Yes it is."

　　Boy- "I have a baseball."

　　Man- "That's nice."

　　Boy- "Want to buy it?"

　　Man- "No, thanks."

　　Boy- "My dad's outside."

　　Man- "OK, how much?"

　　Boy- "$250."

　　In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.

　　Boy- "Dark in here."

　　Man- "Yes, it is."

　　Boy- "I have a baseball glove."

　　The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"

　　Boy- "$750."

　　Man- "Fine."

　　A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball back and forth."

　　The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."

　　The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"

　　The son says "$1,000."

　　The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that.

　　That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

　　They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

　　The boy says, "Dark in here."

　　The priest says, "Don't start that sh*t again."