超搞笑英語笑話帶翻譯

　　笑話是幽默的一種表現形式,通過闡述語用因素對英語笑話言語的作用機制,可以探索英語幽默話語的語用特徵和動態執行模式,幫助人們從認知角度和心理推理機制上更好地瞭解笑話幽默的產生方式。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　Free advice? 免費的建議?

　　A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"

　　醫生和律師正在一個宴會上交談。他們的談話常被一些人打斷，那些人向醫生描述自己的病症，期望獲得免費的治療建議。如此這般一個鐘頭後，醫生有點惱火，於是他問律師：“如果不在辦公時間，你是怎麼阻止人們向你諮詢法律問題的?”

　　"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill." The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try.

　　“我會給他們建議，”律師回答，“然後我會給他們寄去帳單”。醫生很震驚，但他還是決定這麼試一試。

　　The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills.

　　第二天，帶著點犯罪感，他準備了帳單。

　　When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.

　　當他準備將它們放到郵箱裡時，發現了一張來自律師的帳單。

　　篇二

　　Reached Shore Fast快速靠岸

　　A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down.

　　在休倫湖釣完魚後，我的一個朋友開車拖著他的船回家。路上車壞了。

　　He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to raise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance.

　　他沒帶手機，不過，他想，也許他可以通過海事無線廣播來請求公路援助。 於是，他爬到他的船裡面，啟動了無線裝置，喊道，“求救，求救”。

　　He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday."

　　一名海岸護衛隊警官作出了迴應，“報告你的位置”。

　　A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location." "I-75, two miles south of Standish."

　　“I-75號公路，Standish的南面兩英里”。

　　After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?"

　　沉默了好一會之後，警官問我的朋友，“你的船靠岸時開得有多快?”

　　篇三

　　Very stupid robbers 兩個笨賊

　　Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first robber said, "I hear sirens. Jump!"

　　兩個盜賊在一家旅館偷東西。第一個說：“我聽到警報響了，快跳吧!”

　　The second one said, "But we're on the 13 th floor!"

　　第二個說：“但是我們現在在第13層啊!”

　　The first one screamed back, "This is no time to be superstitious!"

　　第一個尖叫著回敬他：“都什麼時候了，還這麼迷信!”

　　篇四

　　Stopover 中途停留的優惠

　　I couldn't decide whether to go to Salt Lake City or Denver for vacation, so I called the airlines to get prices.

　　我想去渡假，但拿不定主意到底是去鹽湖城還是去丹佛，於是我打電話到航空公司問問機票價格。

　　"Airfare to Denver is $300," the cheery salesperson replied. "And what about Salt Lake City?"

　　“去丹佛的機票是300美元”，熱情的銷售人員回答。“那，去鹽湖城的呢?”

　　"We have a really great rate to Salt Lake -- $99," she said. "But there is a stopover." "Where?" "In Denver," she said.

　　“去鹽湖城我們有特別的優惠，只要99美元”，她回答。“但中途要停一站。”“哪?”“在丹佛”。

　　篇五

　　The Mean Man's Party 吝嗇鬼餐會

　　The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

　　一個聲名狼藉的小氣鬼終於決定要請一次客了。他在向一個朋友解釋怎麼找到他家時說：“你上到五樓，用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了後，再用你的腳把門推開。”

　　"Why use my elbow and foot?"

　　“為什麼我要用我的肘和腳呢?”

　　"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"

　　“天哪!” 吝嗇鬼回答，“你總不會空著手來吧?”