關於英語版的笑話帶翻譯

　　,冷笑話一般指笑話本身因為無聊、諧音字、翻譯、或省去主語、不同邏輯、斷語或特殊內容等問題,或由於表演者語氣或表情等原因,導致一個笑話不能達到好笑的目的,較難引人發笑而成冷場。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　No Fooling!

　　不要瞎混!

　　"Please be gentle with me, darling," said the bride on her wedding night, "I'm a virgin. "

　　“請對我溫柔一些，親愛的!”新婚之夜新娘對新郎說道。“我是個處女。”

　　"You're a virgin?" exclaimed her husband with surprise.

　　“你是個處女?”她丈夫吃驚地叫道，

　　"But you've been married three times. "

　　“可是你已經結過三次婚了啊。”

　　"That's true. dear; but my first husband was an artist and he just wanted to look at my body;

　　“沒錯，親愛的，可是我的第一任丈夫是位藝術家，他只想看我的身體。

　　my second husband was in advertising, and he would only tell me how great it was going to be;

　　我的第二任丈夫從事廣告業，而他只是告訴我那件事會有多美好。

　　and my third husband was a lawyer, and would always say, ”I'll get back to you next week. "

　　我的第三任丈夫是位律師，他總是說：“下星期我就回來看你。”

　　篇二

　　Getting into His Work

　　專注於工作

　　The priest was so concerned with the welfare of his pretty young parishioner that he invited her to his private quarters to discuss her confession.

　　一位神父非常關切教區內一位年輕美麗的教友幸福，因此便邀她到他私人住處討論她的懺悔。

　　"Now, let me get this straight," said the priest. "This young man you went out with did he put his arm around your shoulder like this?"

　　“現在讓我把事情搞清楚，”神父說道，“這個年輕人跟你出去他是不是像這樣把他的手臂繞在你的肩膀?”

　　"Yes, Father, and worse. "

　　“是的，神父，還有更糟的事情呢。”

　　"And did he put his hand on your thigh like this?"

　　“他也像這樣把手放在你的大腿上嗎?"

　　"Yes, Father, and worse. "

　　“是的，神父，還有更壞的呢。”

　　By now the clergyman was thoroughly aroused. He hiked the girl's skirt and gave her a vigorous humping. "And did he do this?" he inquired.

　　此時神父已被刺激得興奮莫名，他撩起女孩的裙子，元氣充沛地和她做起愛來，“他也這樣做嗎?"神父問道。

　　"Yes, Father, and worse, "

　　“是的，神父，還有更糟的呢!”

　　“ But what could be worse than what Ijust did?"

　　“有什麼還比我剛剛所做的更糟呢?"

　　"I'm afraid, Father, that he gave me the clap."

　　“恐怕，神父，他把淋病傳染給我了。”

　　篇三

　　Can't You Be Little More Supportive?

　　你能不能多支援我一點?

　　The delighted young politician called his mother and reported enthusiastically,

　　一位年輕的政客打電話給他母親，高興地說道：

　　"Hey, Mom, I just won the election! "

　　“嘿，媽，我剛贏得這次的選舉呢!”

　　"Honestly, dear?" exclaimed his mother.

　　“你沒在騙我吧，親愛的?”他的媽媽驚叫。

　　" Aw, Jeez, Mom, do you have to bring up something like that at a time like this?"

　　“喔，媽!在這種時刻你還要提出像這樣的問題嗎?***你這時還不相信我嗎/你還以為我是政客的虛假作風嗎?***不相信我嗎?”

　　篇四

　　The Perfect Solution

　　完美解決之道

　　President Shrub was flying over the U. S. with his staff.

　　史拉伯總統和他的幕僚正搭機橫越美國上空。

　　Suddenly he got a brilliant inspiration:

　　忽然間他心中突發奇想，

　　"You know, I think I'll just throw a fifty-dollar bill out the window and make somebody happy. "

　　“我想由視窗扔一張五十元美鈔下去，讓某個人高興一下。”

　　"Mr.President,why don't you throw out five ten-dollar bills and make five people happy?"

　　“總統先生，您為什麼不丟五張十元的鈔票讓五個人高興呢?”

　　suggested his celebrated Secretary of State Vice President Partridge caught on.

　　著名的國務卿建議道。

　　“Golly,Mr.President, why don't you throw fifty singles and make fifty people happy?"

　　副總統派翠基接著說：“啊，總統先生，您為什麼不丟五十張一元鈔票，好讓五十個人高興呢?”

　　The pilot turned around and said, "Why don’t you just throw yourself out the window andmake everybody happy?"

　　這時飛機駕駛員轉身說道：“為什麼你不把自己丟出窗外，好讓每個人都高興呢?”

　　篇五

　　And Stuff the Cuffs in Your Boots

　　把褲腳塞到你的靴子裡面去

　　The untried general faced battle the next day, and was more than a little frightened.

　　一位未曾有過作戰經驗的將軍非常惶恐，因為第二天將有個戰役要面對。

　　Seeking inspiration, he looked into the history of great commanders and learned that Wellington had always dressed in red for battle,

　　為了尋找靈感，他翻查了歷年來偉大將領的檔案，發現威靈頓將軍每次戰鬥中都身穿紅色衣服，

　　so that his men would not realize if he were shot.

　　萬一他被射傷的話，他的士兵也不會發現。

　　Instantly he called in his adjutant and ordered a pair of trousers in a rich, dark brown.

　　於是他傳了副官進來並指示手下做了一條深褐色的褲子。