令人噴飯的經典英語笑話

　　笑話 作為一種特殊的語體有其自身的特點。對於笑話為什麼引人發笑,可以從心理學的角度去分析,也可以從修辭學、邏輯學的角度去認識。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　Trouble with Propositions 介詞問題

　　A new student was just finding his way around Harvard University.

　　一位哈佛大學新生正在熟悉校園環境。

　　“Excuse me,” he asked an upperclassman, “can you tell me where the library’ s at?”

　　“對不起，”他問一位高年級學長“，您能告訴我圖書館在哪裡嗎?”

　　“What appalling diction,” sneered the older student. “I can’t imagine how you could have been admitted to Harvard. Don’t you know better than to end a sentence with a preposition.”

　　“好可怕的用字喔!”那名學長嘲弄他道“。不知道你老弟是怎麼獲准進入哈佛的。難道你不知道介詞不要放在一個句子後面嗎?”

　　“O. K. Can you tell me where the library’s at, asshole?”

　　“好吧!你能告訴我圖書館在哪裡嗎，驢蛋?”

　　篇二

　　an uncommon cold 一次特別的傷風感冒

　　on a rainy, miserable day, the funeral procession was climbing the steep hill to the cemetery, when suddenly the rear door of the hearse broke open and the coffin slid out.

　　一個陰雨、悲慘的日子，有列送葬隊伍正沿著陡峭的山路向墓地前進，這時突然間靈車的後門破開，棺材滑出車外。

　　to the horror of the mourners, the casket hurtled down the hill, scattering motorists and pedestrians. at tremendous speed it leaped onto the sidewalk and barreled into a drugstore. it crashed into the counter and the lid flew open.

　　令哀悼者大感驚恐的是，棺材滑下山坡，衝散了汽車和行人，接著它以高速衝上人行道並滾進一家藥房，最後棺材撞到了櫃檯裡面，蓋子則崩開了。

　　“for heaven’s sake,” said the corpse to the astonished pharmacist, “give me something to stop this coffin.”

　　“看在老天的分上，”棺木中的屍體向驚魂未定的藥劑師說道：“給我一點東西把棺材停止下來。”

　　篇三

　　I Didn’t Take That In 我沒有把藥吃下去

　　A fellow who was rather slow on the uptake had been suffering from constipation, so the doctor provided him with some suppositories.

　　有位理解能力相當遲緩的老兄一直為便祕所苦，因此醫生給他一些利腸的栓劑。

　　A week later, the patient came back to tell the doctor that his condition had not improved.

　　一星期後病人回來告訴醫生，他的狀況尚未改進。

　　“I’m amazed,” said the doctor. “Have you been taking the medicine I prescribed for you?”

　　“我覺得好奇怪，”醫生說。“你有沒有采用我開給你的藥方呢?”

　　“What do you think I ‘ve been doing, shoving it up my ass?”

　　“你以為我做什麼呢?難道要我把它們都塞進屁股裡嗎?”

　　篇四

　　You Said What? 你說什麼?

　　Moe, Larry and Curly had been stranded on a desert island. They were walking along disconsolately when Moe happened to kick bottle lying in the sand. The bottle broke and a genie suddenly emerged before them.

　　莫伊、賴利和捲毛因船觸礁擱淺而被困在一個無人荒島上，他們寂寞無助地沿岸邊走著，這時莫伊踢到沙灘上一隻瓶子，那隻瓶子破了後，突然出現一個精靈。

　　“Thank you, oh Masters, for releasing me from my captivity. For your kindness,please allow me to grant you each a wish.”

　　“謝謝你們從囚禁我的瓶子中把我放出來，我的主人。為了報答你們的恩惠，請讓我為每位實現一個願望。”

　　“Well, it’s not too difficult to figure out what I want,” said Moe. “I wish I were back home.”

　　“哦，我的願望很容易想出來，”莫伊說“。我希望我能回到家裡。”

　　No sooner had he said the words than he was back in dear old Brooklyn.

　　話一說完，莫伊就已在他可愛的布魯克林老家中。

　　“I want to be back home, too,” said Larry, and he, too, was instantly transported.

　　“我也想回家，”賴利說，他馬上也就被送走了

　　“Gee, it’s lonesome here without Moe and Larry,” said Curly. “I wish they were here to keep me company.”

　　“唉，沒有莫伊和賴利，一個人在這裡真無聊，”捲毛說“。我希望他們能回到這裡陪伴我。”

　　篇五

　　Oh, Good Job 喔，你做得真好!

　　Moe, Larry, and Curly were wandering in the Arabian desert when they were captured by a band of ferocious Bedouin. “By the mode of the desert you miserable infidels must be destroyed,” declared their savage leader. “Set up the guillotine!”

　　莫伊·賴利和捲毛三個傻瓜走在阿拉伯沙漠中時，一群殘暴的貝都因人把他們抓了起來。“依據我們沙漠的規定，你們這些可憐的異教徒必須被處死，”野蠻的首領說道“。把斷頭臺架設好。”

　　Moe was the first to be ordered to the death instrument. The blade descended but, amazingly, stopped just short of his neck.

　　莫伊首先被命令上斷頭臺，但令人驚訝的是，刀具落下時在接近脖子地方就停止不動了。

　　Next, Larry placed his head under the huge, razor-sharp blade. But once again it stopped short of his neck.

　　接著賴利把頭放在像剃刀刀片一樣銳利的大刀之下，但又一次刀子在接近他的頸部地方停了下來。

　　“By Allah, another miracle!” affirmed the sheik once more. “Release him!”

　　“奉阿拉真主之命，又是另一個奇蹟!”酋長又一次宣佈“。放了他!”

　　Finally, Curly was led to the ominous device. Looking closely he noticed a splinter of wood blocking the path of the blade.

　　最後捲毛被帶到那不吉利的斷頭臺上，仔細察看後，他發現一塊小木片擋住了刀鋒的去路。

　　“Well, no wonder it’s not working,” he announced. “Here’s your problem right here...”

　　“難怪它不發生作用，”他宣佈道。“你們的問題就在這裡……。