有關英語笑話短文大全

　　英語民間笑話故事像神話小說等民間文學一樣，是廣大勞動人民在長期的生產勞動和與自然界作鬥爭的過程中。本文是有關英語笑話短文，希望對大家有幫助!

　　有關英語笑話短文：The New Teacher 新老師

　　George comes from school on the first of September.

　　"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.

　　"I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."

　　9月1日， 喬治放學回到家裡。

　　“喬治，你喜歡你們的新老師嗎?” 媽媽問。

　　“媽媽，我不喜歡，因為她說3加3得6, 可後來又說2加4也得6。”

　　有關英語笑話短文：Lost Purse 丟失的錢包

　　A lady lost her handbag. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm.... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."

　　The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."

　　一個女人丟了手提包，有一個誠實的小孩撿到後交還給了她。她看了看錢包，說：“嗯，這麼有趣，我丟的時候裡面是一張20美元，現在成了20張一美元。”

　　“沒錯，夫人。”小男孩立刻回答道，“上次我撿到錢包時，那位夫人沒有零錢獎賞給我。”

　　有關英語笑話短文：Fish net 魚網

　　"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"

　　"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.

　　“你能告訴我魚網是什麼做的嗎，安?”老師發問道。

　　“把許多小孔用繩子栓在一起就成了魚網了。”小女孩回答道。

　　有關英語笑話短文：A Rithmetic Lesson

　　A little boy bustled***喧鬧，忙亂*** into a grocery one day with a memorandum***便箋*** in his hand.

　　″Hello, Mr. Smith,″He said, ″I want thirteen pounds of coffee at 33 cents.″

　　″Very good,″ said the grocer, and he noted down the sale.

　　″Anything else, Charlie?″

　　″Yes. Twenty-seven pounds of sugar at 9 cents.″

　　″The loaf? And whatelse?″

　　″Seven and a half pounds of bacon at 30 cents.″

　　″That will be a good brand. Goon.″

　　″Five pounds of tea at 90 cents, eleven and a half quarts of molasses at 8 cents a pint, two eight-pound hams at 31 cents, and five dozen jars of pickled walnuts***核桃*** at 34 cents a jar.″

　　The grocer made out the bill.

　　″It's a big order,″ he said. ″Did your mother tell you to pay for it?″

　　″My mother,″ said the boy, as he pocketed the neat and accurate bill, ″has nothing to do with this business. It is my arithmetic***算術*** lesson and I had to get it done somehow.″

　　一天，一個小男孩匆匆忙忙地走進了一家雜貨店，手裡拿著一張清單。

　　“史密斯先生，你好，”他說道：“3毛3分錢一磅的咖啡，請給我13磅。”

　　“好的，”雜貨店老闆馬上把這筆生意記了下來。

　　“還要別的什麼，查理?”

　　“要的。再要27磅糖，9分錢一磅的。”

　　“麵包要不要?還要什麼?”“7磅半鹹肉，3毛錢一磅的。”

　　“這肉是名牌的呢，還有呢?”

　　“9毛錢一磅的茶葉，給我5磅，8分錢一品脫的糖漿要11夸脫半，3毛1分錢一磅的8磅的大火腿要兩隻，3毛4分錢一罐的醃核桃要5打。”

　　雜貨店老闆把賬單算了出來。“你買了很多東西，”他說：“你媽媽叫你現在把錢付清嗎?”

　　小男孩一面把那清楚準確的賬單放進口袋，一面說：“這和我媽沒關係，這是我自己的算術作業,我總得想辦法把它做出來!”

　　有關英語笑話短文：Do Farts Have.......

　　A kindergarten teacher one day is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word "definitely" to them. To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a sentence. The first student raised his hand and said "The sky is definitely blue". The teacher said, "Well, that isn't entirely correct, because sometimes it's gray and cloudy".

　　Another student says, "Grass is definitely green." The teacher again replies "If grass doesn't get enough water it turns brown, so that isn't really correct either."

　　Another student raises his hand and asks the teacher "Do farts have lumps?" The teacher looked at him and said "No...But that isn't really a question you want to ask in class discussion." So the student replies, "Then I definitely shit my pants."