有關英語笑話短文

　　笑話一般比較短小,喜劇性很強,普遍存在於人們的日常生活中。本文是，希望對大家有幫助!

　　：Drink like a fish

　　A guy hosted a dinner party for people from work, including his boss.

　　All during the sit-down dinner, the host's three-year-old girl stared at her father's boss sitting across from her. The girl could hardly eat her food for staring.

　　The man checked his tie, felt his face for food, patted his hair in place, but nothing stopped her from staring at him. He tried his best to ignore her but, finally it was too much for him.

　　He asked her, "Why are you staring at me.?"

　　Everyone at the table had noticed her behaviour and the table went quiet for her response.

　　The little girl said, "My Daddy said you drink like a fish and I don't want to miss it!"

　　：Bird jokes

　　Q: What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon?

　　A: A bird who knocks before delivering its message!

　　Q: What do you call a very rude bird?

　　A: A mockingbird!

　　Q: Where do birds meet for coffee?

　　A: In a nest-cafe!

　　Q: How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

　　A: With it's sparrowchute!

　　Q: What is green and pecks on trees?

　　A: Woody Wood Pickle!

　　Q: What happened when the owl lost his voice?

　　A: He didn't give a hoot!

　　Q: What do you call a Scottish parrot?

　　A: A Macaw!

　　Q: What do you call a bird that lives underground?

　　A: A mynah bird!

　　Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede?

　　A: A great walkie-talkie!

　　：Chicken jokes

　　Q: Why don't chickens like people?

　　A: They beat eggs!

　　Q: Why did the rooster run away?

　　A: He was chicken!

　　Q: What do chickens grow on?

　　A: Eggplants!

　　Q: Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?

　　A: He heard the referee calling fowls Q: Why is it easy for chicks to talk?

　　A: Because talk is cheep!

　　Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken with a duck?

　　A: A bird that lays down!

　　Q: What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?

　　A: She lays hand gren-eggs!

　　Q: Why did the chicken cross the "net"?

　　A: It wanted to get to the other site!

　　Q: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?

　　A: An alarm cluck!

　　Q: Why did the chicken cross the road half way?

　　A: He wanted to lay it on the line!

　　：Kid wisdom

　　HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY?

　　You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.- Alan, age 10

　　HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

　　You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.- Derrick, age 8

　　WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

　　Both don't want any more kids.- Lori, age 8

　　WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

　　Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.- Lynnette, age 8

　　WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

　　When they're rich.- Pam, age 7

　　IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

　　It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.- Anita, age 9

　　HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

　　There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?- Kevin, age 8

　　HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

　　Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck.- Ricky, age 10

　　：Where's the father? 父親在哪?

　　Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

　　"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"

　　"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"

　　The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."

　　兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。

　　“看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀!”

　　“是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢?”

　　哥哥想了一會兒，然後解釋道：“很明顯，他當時正在畫這些畫唄。”