有關於簡短英文笑話大全

　　笑話是幽默的語言表達。它是一種常見的幽默傳達方式。笑話是口頭或者書面的幽默語言。本文是有關於簡短英文笑話，希望對大家有幫助!

　　有關於簡短英文笑話：The Ventriloquist

　　A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town called Weipa. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the colour of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuatediscrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, and all in the name of humour!"

　　The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologise, and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this,mister! I'm talking to that little prick on your knee."

　　有關於簡短英文笑話：Fourth Husband

　　A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time.

　　"How wonderful! But I hope you don't mind me asking what happened to your first husband?"

　　"He ate poisonous mushrooms and died."

　　"Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?"

　　"He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died."

　　"Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband."

　　"He died of a broken neck."

　　"A broken neck?"

　　"He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."

　　有關於簡短英文笑話：Nail The Cow

　　A farmer is giving his wife last-minute instructions before heading to town to do chores.

　　"That fellow from Sematol will be along this afternoon to inseminate one of the cows. I've hung a nail by the right stall so you'll know which one I want him to impregnate."

　　Satisfied that even his mentally challenged wife could understand the instructions, the farmer left for town.

　　That afternoon, the 'Inseminator' arrives, and the wife dutifully takes him out to the barn and directly to the stall with the nail.

　　"This is the cow right here," she tells him.

　　"What's the nail for?" the guy asks.

　　Replies the wife, "I guess its to hang up your pants."

　　有關於簡短英文笑話：Learning Each Other

　　A man met a beautiful blonde lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away.

　　She said, But we don't know anything about each other.

　　He said, That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along.

　　So she consented, and they were married, and went on a honeymoon to a very nice resort.

　　One morning they were laying by the pool, when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the 10 Meter board and did a two and a half tuck gainer. This was followed by a three rotations in jackknife position, where he straightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a few moredemonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel.

　　She said, That was incredible!

　　He said, I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we'd learn more about ourselves as we went along.

　　So she got up, jumped in the pool, and started doing laps. After about thirty laps she climbed back out and lay down on her towel hardly out of breath. He said, That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?

　　No. she said, I was a hooker in Venice and I worked both sides of the canal.

　　有關於簡短英文笑話：Why A Divorce?

　　A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"

　　She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."

　　"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

　　"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.

　　"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"

　　"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents."

　　He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"

　　"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."

　　"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

　　"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes."

　　"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"

　　"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."

　　Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"

　　"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me!"