有關英文笑話演講稿閱讀

　　英語笑話是一種特殊而又普遍存在的語言現象,它滲透到人們日常生活的方方面面。本文是有關英文笑話演講稿，希望對大家有幫助!

　　有關英文笑話演講稿：Good news and bad news

　　"There's good news and bad news," the divorce lawyer told his client.

　　"I could sure use some good news," sighed the client. "What's it?"

　　"Your wife isn't demanding that your future inheritances be included in the settlement."

　　"And the bad news?"

　　"After the divorce, she's marrying your father."

　　有關英文笑話演講稿：Help! Doctor

　　"Help! Doctor! Please come quickly! My ten-year-old son has just swallowed a pen!"

　　"Ok, I'll be right there. I'll be there in 10 to 20 minutes."

　　"Good, but...what am I supposed to do in the meantime?"

　　"Just use another pen!"

　　有關英文笑話演講稿：The advantage of noise

　　Wherever I drove my old car over 55 miles per hour, it vibrated terribly, so I decided to sell it. My first customer wanted to buy the car, and I battled with my conscience over whether or not to tell him of the vehicle's problem. Finally I did the right thing.

　　Expecting him to drop the deal, I was surprised by his reply. “That's okay.” he said. “I'm buying this car for my daughter. If she complains about a vibration, I'll know she's driving too fast.”

　　有關英文笑話演講稿：Do what you can

　　In a courtroom, the judge sentenced a criminal to thirty years in prison and the prisoner said, “But Sir, I won’t live that long!”

　　So the judge replied, “Don't worry, just do what you can!”

　　有關英文笑話演講稿：Tightfisted till the end

　　When a very miserly man nicknamed the “stingy ghost” died and went to hell, the Yama King reproached him, saying, “You stingy ghost! When you were alive, you clung hard to everything and wouldn't give to anyone. Even when you saw others in poverty and misery, you refused to offer them help. Also, you didn't take good care of your parents, relatives or friends and let them suffer and starve. For your evil karma, you'll be dumped into a pot of boiling oil.”

　　The ghost wardens then escorted the man to the pot of boiling oil, and when they arrived, he looked at the pot and said, “Hey! Wait a minute! There's so much oil in it. What a waste! Please drain out the oil, sell it and give me the money. Then, you can simply dump me in a pot of boiling water! There's no need for oil. You're using too much oil to cook one person anyway!”

　　Yama King: 閻羅王

　　karma: 羯磨，業***佛教名詞***