關於英語笑話稿子精選

　　話是一種頗受人們喜愛的民間敘事型別,材料豐富,有廣泛的現實基礎。小編整理了關於英語笑話稿子，歡迎閱讀!

　　關於英語笑話稿子：My Husband Will Be Home Soon

　　A married man was visiting his "girlfriend" when she requested that he shave his beard.

　　"Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face."

　　James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it, she would kill me!!"

　　"Oh please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice...

　　"Oh really, I can't," he replies..."My wife loves this beard!!"

　　The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighs and finally gives in. That night James crawls into bed with his wife while she was sleeping.

　　The wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and replies "Oh Michael, you shouldn't be here, my husband will be home soon!"

　　我丈夫馬上就要回來了

　　一個已婚男人去拜訪他的“女朋友”時，女朋友要求他剃去鬍鬚。

　　“噢，詹姆斯，我喜歡你的鬍子，但我更喜歡看到你英俊的面孔。”

　　詹姆斯回答說，“我的妻子喜歡我的鬍子，所以我不可能剃掉它，否則她會殺了我的。”

　　“噢，我求你了，”女朋友用一種低沉的、性感的聲音又一次說道。

　　“可是，我不能，”他回答道，“我的妻子喜歡這鬍子。”

　　在女朋友再三請求下，他終於屈服同意了。夜裡，在妻子熟睡時，詹姆斯爬上了床。

　　妻子朦朦朧朧地摸了摸他的臉說道，“噢，邁克爾，你不應該在這裡，我的丈夫很快就要回來了。”

　　關於英語笑話稿子：Only cash and credit cards

　　When a man called a motel and asked how much they charged for

　　a room, the clerk told him that the rates depend on room size and

　　number of people.

　　" Do you take children?" the man asked.

　　"No, sir," replied the clerk. "Only cash and credit cards."

　　只算現金和信用卡

　　一個人打電話給一家汽車旅館詢問房租，旅館的工作人員回答說 房租的多少取決於房間的大小和住客的人數。

　　“小孩兒算不算呢?”那人問道。

　　“不算，先生。”服務員回答，“我們只算現金和信用卡。”

　　關於英語笑話稿子：A Smart Housewife.

　　A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume half of the coal she was burning. She was very excited, and said: "That'll be terrific! Since one stove can save half of the coal, if I buy two, no coal will be needed!"

　　精明的家庭主婦

　　一位精明的家庭主婦聽人說有一種爐子用起來可以比她現在用的爐子省一半的煤。她聽了大為興奮，說：“那太好了!一個爐子可以省一半的煤，那麼如果我買兩個爐子的話，不就可以把煤全都省下來了嗎?”

　　關於英語笑話稿子：約會

　　When the young waitress in the café in Tom's building started waving hello everyday. Tom was flattered, for she was at least 15 years younger than he. One day she waved and beckoned to Tom again. When Tom strolled over, she asked, "Are you single?"

　　"Why, yes," Tom replied, smiling at her broadly.

　　"So is my mom," she said. "Would you like to meet her?"

　　約會

　　在湯姆工作的大樓裡有一個咖啡屋，那兒總有一位小姐每天都和他打招呼。湯姆有些受寵若驚，因為這位小姐看上去至少比他年輕15歲。一天她又對湯姆招手並示意湯姆過去。於是湯姆走了過去。她問道，“您現在是單身嗎?” “對，是單身，”湯姆滿臉堆笑的說。 “我母親也是，”她說，“您願不願意見見她?”

　　關於英語笑話稿子：瞌睡者

　　The preacher was vexed because a certain member of his congregation always fell asleep during the sermon.

　　As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congreg

　　ation. "All who want to go to heaven，please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."

　　Awaking with a start, the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit, "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."

　　牧師非常生氣，因為總有一個人在他說教時打瞌睡。一個星期天，正當坐在前排的那個人又在瞌睡時，牧師決定要好好教育他一下，讓他不要再在佈道時睡覺。於是他低聲對信徒們說：“想去天堂的人，都請站起來吧。”所有的人都站了起來——當然，除了那個打瞌睡的人。在低聲說過請坐後，牧師高聲喊道：“想去下地獄的人請站起來!”打瞌睡的人被這突然的喊叫聲驚醒了，他站了起來。看到牧師高站在教壇上，正生氣的看著他。這個人說道：“噢，先生，我不知道我們在選什麼，但看上去只有你和我是候選人。”