關於幽默英語笑話閱讀

　　笑話是現代社會發展最快的一種口頭文學體裁,它體現了某一民族行為中最深刻的和潛意識中的觀點。本文是關於幽默英語笑話，希望對大家有幫助!

　　關於幽默英語笑話：Televisions

　　A witness is testifying before the court, and the prosecuting attorney is asking him questions:

　　"You witnessed the robbery, sir?"

　　"Yes"

　　"What was stolen?"

　　"Two televisions"

　　"Did you see the thieves?"

　　"Yes"

　　"Could you identify them?"

　　"Yes"

　　"Are the two men who stole the televisions in this courtroom?"

　　At this point, the two defendants raised their hands.

　　***What's a defense attorney to do?***

　　關於幽默英語笑話：How old am I?

　　A 47 year-old lady gets a facelift. It turns out very well and she enjoys showing off her new look.

　　She goes to the newsstand and asks the man, "Sir, how old do you think I am?" The man replies, "You're 30, right?" She says "No, I'm 47, but nice try."

　　The next day, she goes to McDonald's. She orders her lunch and asks the young man at the counter, "How old do you think I am?" The man replies, You're 37, right?" The lady says "No, I'm 47, but good guess."

　　After lunch, she gets on the bus and she asks an 85-year-old man how old she is. He replies, "Lady, I can tell how old any woman is by sticking my hand down her panties." So, quietly and quickly, she lets him do so. He thinks a moment and announces, "You're 47!"

　　The lady, astonished, asks, "How did you know?"

　　The old man replies, "I was standing right behind you at McDonald's."

　　關於幽默英語笑話：God Everywhere

　　One day little Johnny was walking up a hill pulling his red wagon behind him saying,"Screw this," "Screw that."

　　The town priest hears this and walks up to Johnny and says,"You shouldn't swear like that, Johnny. God is all around us."

　　"Is he in the sky?" asks Johnny.

　　"Yes," says the priest.

　　"Is he in that bush over there?" asks Johnny.

　　"Yes," says the priest."

　　Is he in my wagon?" asked Johnny.

　　"Yes," says the priest.

　　"Well tell him to get out and push!!!"

　　關於幽默英語笑話：The Vet Solves A Problem

　　The only cow in a small Kentucky town stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found that they could buy a cow just across the state line in Illinois for $200.

　　They brought the cow from Illinois and the cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all of the time, and the people were very happy.

　　They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow to produce more cows like it. They would never have to worry about their milk supply again.

　　They bought the bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow. However, whenever the bull tried to mount the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest. The people were very upset and decided to ask the Vet, who was very wise, what to do.

　　They told the Vet what was happening. "Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An attempt from the side, she walks away to the other side."

　　The Vet thought about this for a minute and asked, "Did you by chance, buy this cow in Illinois?"

　　The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned where they bought the cow. "You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow in Illinois?"

　　The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye, "My wife is from Illinois."

　　關於幽默英語笑話：God Everywhere

　　One day little Johnny was walking up a hill pulling his red wagon behind him saying,"Screw this," "Screw that."

　　The town priest hears this and walks up to Johnny and says,"You shouldn't swear like that, Johnny. God is all around us."

　　"Is he in the sky?" asks Johnny.

　　"Yes," says the priest.

　　"Is he in that bush over there?" asks Johnny.

　　"Yes," says the priest."

　　Is he in my wagon?" asked Johnny.

　　"Yes," says the priest.

　　"Well tell him to get out and push!!!"