關於經典英語笑話朗讀

　　笑話一般指短小、滑稽的故事,是一種民間口頭創作形式,在民間文化中以口口相傳的形式傳播。小編分享關於經典英語笑話，希望可以幫助大家!

　　關於經典英語笑話：A Lawyer's Priorities

　　Two lawyers were walking down Rodeo Drive, and saw a beatiful model walking towards them. "What a babe," one said, "I'd sure like to fuck her!"

　　"Really?" the other responded, "Out of what?"

　　關於經典英語笑話：Samurai Masters

　　There was an American who decided to take a trip to Japan for vacation.

　　He was walking around taking in the sites when he came upon a Japanese man dressed in clothing he'd never seen before. He approached this man and asked him why he wore such unusual clothing.

　　The Japanese guy replied "I'm #3 Samurai." The American said, "#3 Samurai, what's that mean?" So the #3 Samurai asked the American, "Would you like demonstration?." The American stepped back to watch the demonstration. The #3 Samurai opened a small pouch on his belt and out comes a fly. As the fly took off he drew his sword and made two swipes cutting the fly into half.

　　The American was simply amazed by this and asked if there was a #2 Samurai since he was #3. The #3 Samurai replied "Yes, would you like to meet him and see demonstration?"

　　The American was curious now and agreed to meet the #2 Samurai.

　　The #3 Samurai takes him to see #2 Samurai and tells the Samurai the Amerian wanted a demonstration. The American steps back to watch. He, too, has a pouch on his belt. He opens it and out comes a fly, about that time he draws his sword and made two swipes cutting the fly in to 4 pieces.

　　The American is totally bewildered and blown away by such skill and precision.... then he wonders if there is a #1 Samurai and what could he do to make him #1. So, he asks #2 Samurai if there is a #1 and could he give a demonstration. The Samurai agrees and takes him to meet the #1 Samurai for a demonstration. Just like the other Samurais he, too, has a pouch on his belt. He opens the pouch and releases a fly as the fly takes off #1 Samurai draws his sword and makes two swipes except this time the fly flew away.

　　The American walks up to the #1 Samurai and says, "You must be having a bad day because you missed."

　　The #1 Samurai said, "No miss, fly can no longer have family."

　　關於經典英語笑話： Midnight Snack

　　Two bats are going for their midnight feed. After an hour or so, one bat gets tired of looking and goes home with no blood. The other bat comes home with blood dripping from its mouth. The first bat says enviously, "Where did you get all that blood from?" The second bat replies, "Follow me. I`ll show you." After awhile the second bat leads them to a cave. He says, "You see that wall over there?" The hungry bat excitedly says, "Yes!" Other bat says, "I didn't."

　　關於經典英語笑話： The Hero Of The Hour

　　One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd toss them in the air, then catch them in his mouth. In the middle of catching one, his wife asked a question, and as he turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear. He tried and tried to dig it out but only succeeded in pushing it in deeper. He asked his wife for assistance, and after hours of trying they became worried and decided to go to hospital.

　　As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home with her date. After being informed of the problem, their daughter's date said he could get the peanut out. The young man told the father to sit down, then shoved two fingers up the father's nose and told him to blow hard. When the father blew, the peanut flew out. The mother and daughter jumped andyelled for joy.

　　The young man insisted that it was nothing and the daughter brought the young man out to the kitchen for something to eat. Once he was gone the mother turned to the father and said, "That's wonderful. Isn't he smart? What do you think he's going to be when he grows older?!"

　　The father replies "From the smell of his fingers, our son in-law!"

　　關於經典英語笑話：Potty Training

　　Little Johnny was just being potty trained, and his mom tried this new method with 6 steps:1. Unbutton pants.2. Pull pants down.3. Pull foreskin back.4. Pee.5. Push foreskin forward.6. Pull pants up and button.She walked past the bathroom one day and heard Johnnysaying, "1,2,3,4,5,6" and she was thinking she did good.Then she walked past the next day and heard him saying real fast 3-5,3-5,3-5...