精彩愚人節英文笑話

　　愚人節是西方的節日，你聽過愚人節的英語笑話嗎?現在，就讓我們感受一下外國的幽默，下面，小編為大家整理了一些關於精彩愚人節的英文笑話，歡迎大家閱讀。

　　精彩愚人節的英文笑話一：

　　A couple drove several miles down a country road with intense silence. Not a word was said to each other. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither wanted to concede his position. As they passed a barnyard of mules***騾子*** and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours? " "Yep, " the husband replied, "in-laws "

　　精彩愚人節的英文笑話二：

　　Best wishes and I believe your English will be better and better!

　　精彩愚人節的英文笑話三：

　　A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok,mommy." and goes to sleep. the next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn''t come true!". The mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

　　精彩愚人節的英文笑話四：

　　Wife talking to her husband ***who reads newspaper all day***: I wish I were a newspaper so I'll be in your hands all day.

　　Husband: I wish that too, so I could change you daily

　　精彩愚人節的英文笑話五：

　　-What the day is it today?

　　-Today is April fools'day.

　　-Oh!you are wrong today is March the 31th.If you don't believe me please pick up the calendar.

　　-Oh!it is really April fools'day.

　　-Haha!you were cheated!

　　精彩愚人節的英文笑話六：

　　A woman goes to England to attend a 2-week company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.

　　The wife answered: Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?

　　The husband laughed and said: An English girl!!!

　　The woman kept quiet and left. Two weeks later he picked her up in the airport and asked: So honey, how was the trip?

　　The wife: Very good, thank you.

　　The husband: And, what happened to my present?

　　The wife: Which present?

　　The husband: What I asked for: the English girl?

　　The wife: Oh, that! Well, I did what I could; now we have to wait a few months to see if it’s a girl!!!

　　精彩愚人節的英文笑話七：

　　A little boy asked his father: Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?

　　The father replied: I don 't know son. I 'm still paying!!

　　精彩愚人節的英文笑話八：

　　At midnight father saw that his married son leaving home... He asks him: what are you doing?

　　The son replied: Dad I am fed up with my life! My newly marriage is not going well, my wife and my mom keep fighting with each other! I have to pay bills for my in-laws, and I hate this life!!! I want to go far from here, I want to taste every joy of life, and I want to have every fun of life!!!

　　Father said: Wait!!!!!!!! I am coming with you

　　精彩愚人節的英文笑話九：

　　A man is sitting reading his newspaper when the wife sneaks up behind him and whacks***打*** him on the head with a frying pan. "What the hell was that for? " he asks. "That was for the piece of paper in your trouser pockets with the name Mary Ellen written on it, " she replies. Don 't be silly, " he says. "Two weeks ago when I went to the races***賽馬***, Mary Ellen was the name of one of the horses I bet on. " She seems satisfied at this, and she apologizes. Three days later he 's again sitting in his chair reading when she nails***打，俚語*** him with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him out cold. When he comes around, he asks again, "What the hell was that for? " "Your fucking horse just phoned. "

　　精彩愚人節的英文笑話十：

　　A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked woman with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn 't like it and moves on, but the husband keeps looking. The wife asks, "What are you waiting for? " The husband replies, "autumn. "

　　精彩愚人節的英文笑話十一：

　　Wife to husband: you were so drunk last night that you insulted your boss.

　　Husband: piss on him! Wife: you did and he fired you!

　　Husband: fuck him!

　　Wife: I did and you can go back to work tomorrow.