關於小學爆笑英語笑話大全

　　英語笑話一出現便受到了大多數人的喜愛，它給人們帶來的歡樂和喜悅是無限的。小編精心收集了關於小學爆笑英語笑話，供大家欣賞學習!

　　關於小學爆笑英語笑話：A Concise Essay

　　An English university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing the following elements:

　　1*** Religion 2*** Royalty 3*** Sex 4*** Mystery

　　The prize-winner wrote:

　　"My God," said the Queen, "I'm pregnant. I wonder who the father is."

　　關於小學爆笑英語笑話：All of them

　　A couple were having financial problems until finally they couldn't stand it any more. The husband said to his wife that is was necessary for her to make some money through prostitution to get by.

　　So the husband drove her to the place where she had to do the job and in the evening he picked her up again.

　　"So, how much have you earned today?" the husband asked.

　　"Well", the woman responded, "I've made one hundred dollars and fifty cents."

　　"That's strange", the husband responded, "who gave you the fifty cents?

　　"

　　Said the woman: "All of them, of course!"

　　關於小學爆笑英語笑話：Peanuts 花生

　　One day, a minister decided that he would visit some members of his congregation at their homes to encourage them and find out how they were doing.

　　After having already visited several members, he arrived at the door of a poor, elderly widow. He rang.

　　She answered, and let him in. He was ushered into the living room where he and the widow sat down and began a casual conversation.

　　After a few minutes into his conversation, he noticed a candy dish, full of peanuts, on the coffee table.

　　Under ordinary circumstances, he would not have asked the question, but it was almost noon, and he hadn't eaten anything since his early breakfast and he was beginning to feel quite hungry.

　　So, he asked the widow, "do you mind if I have some of these nuts?"

　　"Help yourself," she replied. So, he did.

　　Well, they continued chatting, when the minister realized that he had finished all the peanuts in the dish.

　　He felt quite embarrassed for having gotten so carried away in his conversation, that he didn't even think to leave some in the dish for her.

　　So, shamefully, he said to her, "I'm really sorry. It seems that I've eaten all your peanuts - I didn't mean to finish them all. Please forgive me."

　　The poor, elderly widow casually waved her hand at him and said, "Oh, that's quite all right. Since I don't have any teeth, all I can do is suck the chocolate off them anyway!"

　　關於小學爆笑英語笑話：If I Can

　　A huge college freshman decided to try out for the football team. "Can you tackle?" asked the coach.

　　"Watch this," said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters.

　　"Wow," said the coach. "I'm impressed. Can you run?"

　　"Of course I can run," said the freshman. He was off like a shot, and in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash.

　　"Great!" enthused the coach. "But can you pass a football?"

　　The freshman hesitated for a few seconds. "Well, sir," he said, "if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it."

　　關於小學爆笑英語笑話：Bad Wish

　　Two guys are in a locker room after their racquetball game when one guy notices the other has a cork in his buttock. "If you don't mind me saying," said the second, "that cork looks terribly uncomfortable. Why don't you take it out?"

　　"I can't," lamented the first man. "It's permanent."

　　"I don't understand," said the other.

　　The first guy says, "I was walking along the beach and I tripped over an oil lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a huge man in a turban came oozing out.

　　He said, "I am Hasan the Genie. I can grant you one wish." And I said, "No sh*t."