關於短點的英語笑話閱讀

　　笑話,是供人們消遣或交際的一種創造性的語言形式,其主要功能是調侃、娛樂或諷刺。小編精心收集了關於短點的英語笑話，供大家欣賞學習!

　　關於短點的英語笑話：THE CRISTMAS PARROT

　　A few days before Christmas, a man enters a pet store looking for a unique gift for his wife.

　　The store manager tells him he has just what he's looking for; a beautiful parrot named Chet that sings Christmas carols. He brings the husband over to a colorful but quiet bird. The man agrees that Chet certainly is pretty, but he doesn't seem to be much for singing. The manager tells him to watch as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a lighter.

　　The manager then clicks the lighter and holds it under Chet's left foot. Immediately Chet starts singing; "Silent Night, Holy Night." The husband is very impressed with Chet's singing abilities and watches as the manager moves the lighter underneath Chet's right foot. Chet now starts to sing "Jingle Bells, Jingle All the Way." The husband says Chet is perfect and that he'll take him.

　　The husband rushes home to his wife and insists upon giving her this wonderful gift immediately. He presents Chet and starts to explain the parrot's special talent. Demonstrating, he holds a lighter under Chet's left foot and the bird sings "Silent Night." He then moves the lighter under the right foot and Chet lets loose a round of "Jingle Bells."

　　The wife is absolutely impressed, and with a mischievous grin asks her husband what happens if he holds the lighter between Chet's legs instead. Curious the husband moves the lighter between the bird's legs, and the bird begins to sing:

　　"Chet's Nuts Roasting on an Open Fire!"

　　關於短點的英語笑話：TWO STORKS

　　Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. "Don't worry, son. Your mother will come back. She's only bringing people babies and making them happy."

　　The next night, it's father's turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, the baby stork is crying, and mother is saying "Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he's bringing joy to new mommies and daddies."

　　A few days later, the stork's parents are desperate: their son is absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where he's been all night.

　　The baby stork says, "Nowhere. Just scaring the hell out of college students!"

　　關於短點的英語笑話：Help Wanted

　　A sign was hung in an office window. It read:

　　Help wanted.

　　Must type 70 words a minute.

　　Must be computer literate.

　　Must be bilingual.

　　An equal opportunity employer.

　　A dog was ambling down the street and saw the sign. He looked at it for a moment, pulled it down with his mouth, and walked into the manager's office, making it clear he wished to apply for the job.

　　The office manager laughed and said, "I can't hire a dog for this job."

　　The dog pointed to the line: "An equal opportunity employer."

　　So the manager said, "OK, take this letter and type it." The dog went off to the word processor and returned a minute later with the finished letter, perfectly formatted.

　　The manager said, "Alright, here's a problem. Write a computer program for it and run it."

　　Fifteen minutes later, the dog came back with the correct answer.

　　The manager still wasn't convinced. "I still can't hire you for this position. You've got to be bilingual."

　　The dog looked up at the manager and said, "Meow."

　　關於短點的英語笑話：Bear Alert

　　The California State Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen and golfers to take extra precautions and keep alert for bears while in the Yosemite and Mammothareas.

　　They advise people to wear noise-producing devices such as little bells on their clothing to alert but not startle the bear unexpectedly. They also advise carrying pepper spray in case of an encounter with a bear.

　　It is also a good idea to watch for fresh signs of bear activity and know the difference between black bear and grizzly bear droppings.

　　Black bear droppings are smaller and contain berries and possibly squirrel fur. Grizzly bear droppings have little bells in them and smell like pepper spray.

　　關於短點的英語笑話：The Christian Horse

　　There's this guy who had been lost and walking in the desert for about 2 weeks. One hot day, he sees the home of a missionary Tired and weak, he crawls up to the house andcollapses on the doorstep. The missionary finds him and nurses him back to health. Feeling better, the man asks the missionary for directions to the nearest town. On his way out the backdoor, he sees this horse. He goes back into the house and asks the missionary, "Could I borrow your horse and give it back when I reach the town?"

　　The missionary says, "Sure but there is a special thing about this horse. You have to say 'Thank God' to make it go and 'Amen' to make it stop."

　　Not paying much attetion, the man says, "Sure, ok."

　　So he gets on the horse and says, "Thank God" and the horse starts walking. Then he says, "Thank God, thank God," and the horse starts trotting. Feeling really brave, the man says, "Thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God" and the horse just takes off. Pretty soon he sees this cliff coming up and he's doing everything he can to make the horse stop.

　　"Whoa, stop, hold on!!!!"

　　Finally he remembers, "Amen!!"

　　The horse stops 4 inches from the cliff. Then the man leans back in the saddle and says, "Thank God."