英語小笑話演講大學生

　　冷笑話是一種新興的語言現象,伴隨著網路的普及它已經滲透到了青年群體的日常生活,偶爾爆出的一兩句冷笑話能使交流氛圍變得輕鬆愉悅,也能展示交談者的幽默和智慧。小編精心收集了大學生英語小笑話，供大家欣賞學習!

　　大學生英語小笑話篇1

　　教授的邏輯

　　A college student was in a philosophy class which had a discussion about God’s existence.The professor presented the following logic:

　　大學生們在上哲學課，討論上帝是否存在的問題。教授給出了下面的邏輯推理:

　　"Has anyone in this class heard Gods Nobody spoke.

　　“班上有誰聽見過上帝嗎?”沒人說話。

　　"Has anyone in this class touched God?”Again nobody spoke.

　　“班上有誰觸控過上帝嗎?”還是沒有人說話。

　　"Has anyone in this class seen God?"When nobody spoke for the hird time，he simply stated，"Then there is no God.”

　　“班上有誰看見過上帝嗎?”當第三次還是沒有人說話時，教授就說:“所以，上帝是不存在的。”

　　One student thought for a second，and then asked for permission to reply. Curious to hear this bold student’s response，the professor granted it，and the student stood up and asked the following questions of his classmates:

　　一名學生思考了一下，要求回答問題。教授很好奇，想知道這個大膽的學生有什麼反應，就同意了。學生站了起來，問了他的同學下面幾個問題:

　　"Has anyone in this class heard our professor's brain?"Silence.

　　“班上有誰聽見過我們教授的腦子嗎?”沉默。

　　"Has anyone in this class seen our professor's brain?”Silence.

　　“班上有誰觸控過我們教授的腦子嗎?”沉默。

　　When nobody in the class dared to speak，the student concluded，"Then，according to our professor’s logic，it must be true that our professor has no brain !”

　　班上沒有人敢說話，這名學生總結道:“所以，根據我們教授的邏輯，我們的教授一定沒有腦子。”

　　大學生英語小笑話篇2

　　海倫的眼鏡

　　Helen’s eyes was not very good，so she usually wore glasses.But when she was seventeen and she began to go out with a young man，she never wore her glasses when she was with him. When he came to the door totake her out，she took her glasses off，andwhen she came home again and he left，sheput them on.

　　海倫的視力不是很好，所以她通常都戴眼鏡。但17歲的時候，她開始跟一個男孩外出約會，約會的時候她從不戴眼鏡。每次男孩來到她家門口帶她出去，她就把眼鏡摘掉，等回家後男孩走了，她再把眼鏡戴上。

　　One day her mother said to her，“But Helen，why do you never wear your glasses when you are with Jim? He takes you to beautiful places in his car, but you do not see anything.”

　　一天，她媽媽跟她說，“海倫，為什麼你跟吉姆在一起的時侯從不戴眼鏡?他開車把你帶到美麗的地方去，可是你卻什麼都看不見。”

　　"Well，Mother，”said Helen，“I look prettier to Jim when I am not wearing glasses and he looks better to me too!”

　　“不過，媽媽，”海倫說，“我不戴眼鏡的時候吉姆就會覺得我更加美麗，而且我也會覺得他更好看。”

　　大學生英語小笑話篇3

　　約會的話題

　　A boy is about to go on his first date，and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice.

　　一個男到匕第一次赴約會，他很緊張，不知道談些什麼，就去請教他的父親。

　　The father replies，“My son，there are three subjects that always work. These are food，family，and philosophy.”

　　父親回答:“孩子，有三個話題一向百試不爽、萬用萬靈，那就是食物、家人和哲學。”

　　The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them，they stare at each other for a long time，as the boy's nervousness builds.

　　男孩兒去赴約了，他們進了一家冷飲店，喝著冰激凌蘇打水。兩個人大眼瞪小眼地看著對方，男到匕越發緊張了。

　　He remembers his father's advice，and chooses the first topic.

　　他想起了父親的建議，選擇了第一個話題。

　　He asks the girl，“Do you like spinach?”She says“No"，and the silence returns.

　　他問女孩兒:“你喜歡吃菠菜嗎?”女到七說不喜歡。兩人又歸於沉默。

　　After a few more uncomfortable minutes，the boy thinks of his father’s suggestion and turns to the second item on the Iist.He asks，"Do yow have a brother?”Again，the girl says "No" and there is silence once again.

　　煎熬的幾分鐘後，男孩兒想起了父親的建議，轉向第二個話題。他問:“你有兄弟嗎?”女孩兒說“沒有”。又是沉默。

　　The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father’s advice and asks the girl the following question，“If you had a brother, would he like spinach?”

　　男孩兒使出了殺手銅。他想起父親的建議，問了女孩下面這個問題:“如果你有了兄弟，他會喜歡吃菠菜嗎?”