關於高中英語笑話故事

　　冷笑話作為一種新興的語言現象，越來越受到大家的關注，尤其在網路、雜誌、微博、電影上十分盛行。小編整理了，歡迎閱讀!

　　：He Is New To Baseball

　　Coming home from his Little League game, Billy swung open the front door very excited. Unable to attend the game, his father immediately wanted to know what happened. "So, how did you do son?" he asked."You'll never believe it!" Billy said. "I was responsible for the winning run!""Really? How'd you do that?""I dropped the ball."

　　：A Married Couple

　　A married couple were lying in bed one night.

　　The wife is curled up, ready to go to sleep, as the husband turns his bed lamp on to read a book. As he's reading, he periodically reaches over to his wife and fondles her special area. He does this a few times, but only for a very short intervals before turning back to read his book.

　　The wife gradually becomes more and more aroused and assuming that her husband is seeking some encouragement she gets up and starts stripping in front of him.

　　The husband is confused and asks, "Why are you taking off your clothes?"

　　His wife replies, "You were rubbing me downtown. I thought it was foreplay. "The husband says, "No, not at all."

　　His wife asks angrily, "Well, then what the hell were you doing ?"

　　Seconds before his death he says...

　　"I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages."

　　：Fresh Urine

　　A young woman was in the hospital, recovering from major surgery. She hated being stuck in the tiny little room all day and to make matters worse, the daily routine was starting to get to her.

　　Every morning, for example, the nurse would bring her breakfast ***which always consisted of an egg, piece of toast, and glass of apple juice***. She would then return a little bit later to empty the urine bottle. And so it continued...

　　Finally, one morning, she decided to have a little fun. She ate the eggs and the toast, but went to the bathroom where she cleaned the urine bottle out, then poured the apple juice into it.

　　When the nurse returned later that morning, he took a look at the bottle and a frowncame over his face. "Obviously, you enjoyed your breakfast, but something must be wrong because this looks a little cloudy," he said, pointing to the urine bottle.

　　"Oh, really?" she replied, picking up the bottle in question and putting it to her lips. "In that case, we'd better run it through again..."

　　：Jealous Husband

　　A jealous husband hired a private detective to check on the movements of his wife. The husband wanted more than a written report; he wanted video of his wife's activities.

　　A week later, the detective returned with a video. They sat down together to watch it. Although the quality was less than professional, the man saw his wife meeting another man! He saw the two of them laughing in the park. He saw them enjoying themselves at an outdoor cafe. He saw them dancing in a dimly lit nightclub. He saw the man and his wife participate in a dozen activities with utter glee.

　　"I just can't believe this," the distraught husband said.

　　The detective said, "What's not to believe? It's right up there on the screen!"

　　The husband replied, "I can't believe that my wife could be so much fun!"

　　：Grass Eater

　　A man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw a man eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

　　"Why are you eating grass?" he asked the man.

　　"I don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.

　　"Oh, please come to my house!"

　　"But sir, I have a wife and four children..."

　　"Bring them along!" the rich man said.

　　They all climbed into the limo. Once underway, the poor fellow said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us in."

　　The rich man replied, "No, you don't understand. The grass at my house is over three feet tall!"