簡單又好笑的英語笑話

　　冷笑話是近幾年才出現的新興語言現象，它以網路為主要的傳播方式。它是幽默的一種特殊的表現形式，主要流傳於網頁，微博，貼吧等。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.

　　At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."

　　它們是從美國直接帶來的

　　一位中國老婦人在美國看望女兒回來不久，到一家市銀行存女兒送給她的美元。在銀行櫃檯，銀行職員認真檢查了每一張鈔票，看是否有假。

　　這種做法讓老婦人很不耐煩，最後實在忍耐不住說：“相信我，先生，也請你相信這些鈔票。這都是真正的美元，它們是從美國直接帶來的。”

　　篇二

　　He is really somebody

　　-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.

　　-- He is really somebody. What does he do?

　　-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.

　　他真是一個大人物

　　-- 我叔叔下面有1000個人。

　　-- 他真是一個大人物。幹什麼的?

　　-- 墓地守墓人。

　　篇三

　　my little dog can't read

　　Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!

　　Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!

　　Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.

　　我的狗不識字

　　布朗夫人：哦，

　　親愛的，我把珍愛的小狗給丟了!

　　史密斯夫人：可是你該在報紙上登廣告啊!

　　布朗夫人：沒有用的，我的小狗不認識字。”

　　篇四

　　The doctor lives downstairs

　　"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."

　　He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."

　　醫生住在樓下

　　“醫生”她衝進屋後大聲說道。

　　“我想讓你坦率地說我到底得了什麼病。”

　　他從頭到腳打量打量她，然後大聲說：“太太，我有三件事要對你說。第一，您的體重需要減少大約50磅;第二，如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口紅，您的美貌將會改變。第三，我是一位畫家——醫生住在樓下。”

　　篇五

　　Teacher of Physical Education: Have you ever seen mixed doubles，boys?

　　Nick: Yes，sir. Quite of ten. I saw it even last night.

　　Teacher: Please tell us some thing about it.

　　Nick: Oh，sorry，sir. My father always says, "Domestic shame should not be published.”

　　體育老師：孩子們，你們見過男女混合雙打嗎?

　　尼克：見過，老師，經常見。就在昨天夜裡我還見過呢!

　　老師：那你給大家講講當時的情形吧。

　　尼克：啊，對不起，老師。我爸爸常說:“家醜不可外揚。”