經典趣味幽默笑話閱讀

　　在日常繁忙的生活，也不要忘記了放鬆自己。下面小編為大家帶來，希望大家喜歡!

　　經典趣味幽默笑話：用沙蓋住影子

　　A doctor has some trouble with the sink, on a public holiday. He calls the local plumber, only to be told it's his day off…

　　在公假這天，一個醫生家的水池出了些問題。他給管道工打電話，但是卻被告知這天管道工也休息……

　　"But I get called out on my days off, too!” says the doctor, somewhat exasperated, and the plumber relents.

　　“但是我在休息日也被人叫去出診過呀!”醫生，有些生氣。管道工聽後有些緩和。

　　The plumber arrives, and glances over the sink, looking preoccupied. He mumbles something about golf, then hands the doctor a couple of aspirin and walks out, saying, "Put these in. If it doesn’t clear up in 24 hours, come and see me tomorrow.”

　　管道工到了以後，他全神貫注的看著水池。他嘴裡還小聲嘀咕著高爾夫球的事。然後，他往醫生手裡放了幾片阿司匹林接著走出去，說:“把這些放進去。如果它二十四小時不通，明天來找我看看。”

　　The soldiers had just moved to the desert, and as they had never been in such a place before, they had a lot to learn.

　　士兵們剛剛移駐到沙漠裡，因為他們以前從來沒有到過這樣的地方，他們要學習的東西很多。

　　As there were no trees or buildings in the desert，it was，of course, very hard to hide their trucks from enemy. The soldiers were therefore g2vPn training in camouflage，which means ways of covering something so that the enemy cannot see where it is. They were shown how to paint their trucks in irregular patterns with pale green, yellow, and brown paints，and then to cover them with nets to which they had tied small pieces of cloth.

　　因為沙漠裡沒有樹木和建築物，要使他們的卡車躲過敵機當然是很難辦到的。因此，士兵們受訓進行偽裝，也就是說，要把一些東西隱蔽起來，不讓敵人看到它在哪裡。教官教給了他們如何用淺綠、黃色和棕色在卡車上塗上不規則的圖形，然後用網罩住它們後，士兵們在網上還繫了許多小布片。

　　The driver who had the biggest truck went to lot of trouble to camouflage it. He. spent several hours painting it，preparing a net and searching for some heavy rocks with which to hold the net down. When it was all finished, he looked proudly at his work and then went off to have his lunch.

　　一輛最大的卡車的司機，他為偽裝汽車費了很大的力氣。他花了幾個小時塗畫這輛車，並準備了一張網把車罩起來，同時他還找到了一些大石塊來把網固定。當這一切都於完以後，他自豪地打量了自己的傑作後，就去吃中午飯了。

　　But when he came back to the truck after he had had his meal，he was surprised and worried to see that his cannot flage work was completely spoilt by the truck’ s shadow, which was growing longer arid longer as the afternoon advanced. He stood looking at it, not knowing what to do about it.

　　但當他吃完飯回到卡車旁時，發現自己的偽裝效果全被卡車的影子給破壞了，他感到又吃驚又發愁，而且影子還隨著下午時間的推移而越來越長。他站在那裡望著影子，不知怎麼辦才好。

　　Soon an officer arrived，and he too saw the shadow, of course.

　　不一會，一位軍官走來，他當然也看見了影子。

　　"Well,” he shouted to the poor driver, "what are you going to do about it? If an enemy plane comes over, the pilot will at once know that there is a truck there.”

　　“喂，”他對那位可憐的司機叫道:“你準備怎麼辦?如果敵機飛過，飛行員馬上就會知道這裡有一輛卡車的。”

　　"I know, sir,” answered the soldier.

　　“我明白，長官，”士兵答道。

　　"Whel1, don’t just stand there doing nothing!” said the officer.

　　“嘿!不要光站在那裡發呆了!”

　　"What shall I do, sir`?" asked the poor driver.

　　“我該怎麼辦呢?長官?”可憐的司機問。

　　"Get your spade and throw some sand over the shadow, of course!” answered the officer.

　　“當然是拿起你的鏟子，用沙把影子蓋住呀!”軍官答道。

　　經典趣味幽默笑話：鑰匙還是接吻

　　A friend of mine was giving an English lesson to a class of adult who had recently come to live in the United States. After placing quite a number of everyday objects on a table, he asked various members of the class to give him the ruler, the book, the pen and so on. The class went very smoothly and the students seemed interested and serious about the work that they were engaged in until when my friend turned to an Italian student and said, "Give me the keys.” The man looked surprised and somewhat at a loss. Seeing this, my friend thought that the student hadn’t heard him clearly, so he repealed. "Give me the keys.” The Italian shrugged his shoulders. Then, he threw his arms around the teacher's neck and kissed him on both cheeks.

　　我的一位朋友在給一個成人學生班級上英語課。他們都是新近來美國生活的。在一張桌子上擺了許多日常用品之後，他請全班同學給他挑出尺子、書本、鋼筆等。課程進行得井然有序，學生們對自己所做的似乎很感興趣，也很認真。後來輪到一名來自義大利的學生，我的朋友說:“給我鑰匙。”那人看起來非常吃驚，也有點手足無措。看到這種情況，我的朋友想是他沒有聽清楚，於是又重複了一遍:“給我鑰匙。’，那位義大利學生聳了聳肩。接著，他伸出胳膊接住老師的脖子在雙頰上親了兩下。

　　經典趣味幽默笑話：去天堂

　　Sunday School teacher: Hands up all those who want to go to Heaven? Hands up…what about you、Terry? You haven't got your hand up，don’t you want to go to Heaven?

　　星期日學校的教員:想去天堂的人舉起手來，把手舉起來……你呢，哈里?你還沒舉手呢，你不想去天堂嗎?

　　Terry: I can’t. My Mum told me to go straight home.

　　哈里:我去不了，因為媽媽讓我一放學就回家。

　　經典趣味幽默笑話：多少隻兔子

　　Teacher: Now，Jonathan , if I gave you three rabbits and then the next day I gave you five rabbits, how many rabbits would you have?

　　老師:好，喬納森，假如我給你三隻兔子，第二天我又給你五隻，你一共有多少隻兔子?

　　Jonathan: Nine, sir.

　　喬納森:一共有九隻，先生。

　　Teacher: Nine?

　　老師:九隻?

　　Jonathan: I've got one already, sir.

　　喬納森:先生，我本來就有一隻。