關於短小英語笑話大全

　　前蘇聯著名作家高爾基說過,“哪裡有人,哪裡就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。小編分享關於短小英語笑話，希望可以幫助大家!

　　關於短小英語笑話：Catholic Dog

　　Muldoon, the farmer, lived alone in the countryside with his pet dog of many years. Eventually, his dog died of old age. Muldoon went to the parish priest.

　　"Father, my dear old dog is dead. Could you be saying a mass for the poor creature?"

　　Father Patrick replied, "Muldoon, I'm sorry to hear of your dog's death, but we can't be holding services for an animal in the church. However, there's a new denomination down the road, and maybe they would do something for the animal."

　　Muldoon said, "Thank you, Father. Do you think $500 is enough to donate for the service?"

　　The Father quickly responded, "Son! Why didn't you tell me the dog was Catholic?!"

　　關於短小英語笑話：Funny You Should Ask

　　One day a middle-aged Jewish man named Leo hears from his son attending university. "I'vedecided to become a Christian, Dad."

　　Leo panics. "What do I do?" he asks himself. The only thing he can think to do is call his rabbi.

　　"Funny you should come to me with this problem, Leo," says the rabbi. "Not 2 years ago my son comes to me with the same speech. I had no idea what to do. I panicked, and the only thing I could think to do was go to God."

　　"What message do you think you got from God?" asks Leo.

　　The rabbi laughed. "God said to me, funny you should come to me with this problem ...'"

　　關於短小英語笑話：Rather Yell

　　After church on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I'vedecided I'm going to be a minister when I grow up.

　　"That's okay with us," the mother said, "But what made you decide to be a minister?"

　　"Well," the boy replied, "I'll have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell than to sit still and listen.

　　關於短小英語笑話：No Jews

　　A Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg who many years ago was stranded late one night at a fashionable resort on Cape Cod --one that did not admit Jews.

　　The desk clerk looked down at his book and said, 'Sorry, no room. The hotel is full.' The Jewish lady said, 'But your sign says that you have vacancies.' The desk clerk stammered and then said curtly, 'You know that we do not admit Jews. Now if you will try the other side of town...'

　　Mrs. Rosenberg stiffened noticeably and said, 'I'll have you know I converted to your religion.'

　　The desk clerk said, 'Oh, yeah, let me give you a little test. How was Jesus born?'

　　Mrs. Rosenberg replied, 'He was born to a virgin named Mary in a little town called Bethlehem.'

　　'Very good,' replied the hotel clerk. 'Tell me more.'

　　Mrs. Rosenberg replied, 'He was born in a manger.'

　　'That's right,' said the hotel clerk. 'And why was he born in a manger?'

　　Mrs. Rosenberg said loudly, 'Because a jerk like you in the hotel wouldn't give a Jewish lady a room for the night!'

　　關於短小英語笑話：Religious Man And An Atheist

　　A very religious man lived right next door to an atheist. While the religious one prayed day in, day out, and was constantly on his knees in communion with his Lord, the atheist never even looked twice at a church.

　　However, the atheist's life was good, he had a well-paying job and a beautiful wife, and his children were healthy and good- natured, whereas the pious man's job was strenuous and his wages were low, his wife was getting fatter every day and his kids wouldn't give him the time of the day.

　　So one day, deep in prayer as usual, he raised his eyes towards heaven and asked:

　　"Oh God, I honour you every day, I ask your advice for every problem and confess to you my every sin. Yet my neighbour, who doesn't even believe in you and certainly never prays, seems blessed with every happiness, while I go poor and suffer many an indignity. Why is this?"

　　And a great voice was heard from above: "BECAUSE HE DOESN'T BOTHER ME ALL THE TIME!"