爆笑的小學生英語小笑話

　　笑話中人物對“合作原則”四準則有意無意的違反常常產生幽默。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　大全

　　***一***

　　If I Am a Manager

　　如果我是一個經理

　　One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition – if I Am a Manager.

　　一天課上，老師要同學們以“如果我是一個經理”為題寫一篇作文。

　　All the students began to write except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked the reason.

　　所有的學生都在動筆寫了，只有一個男生例外。老師走過去問他為什麼不寫。

　　“I am waiting for my secretary,” was the boy’s answer.

　　“我在等我的祕書”。那孩子答道。

　　***二***

　　A Man of Actions

　　一個言出必行的人

　　A crowd of student was gathered on the campus of Oxford University. “You can have nodoubt,” shouted a young man excitedly, “that if the Dean does not take back what he said tome this morning, I’ll leave Oxford this very evening!”

　　一群學生聚在牛津的校園裡，一個年輕人情緒激動地叫道：“毋庸置疑，如果那個傢伙不收回他今早　　對我說的話，我今晚就離開牛津。”

　　A buzzing noise followed. “What a man of actions!” one said in admiration. “How should wesupport him and learn from him!” said another.

　　下面一片喧譁。“真是個言出必行的人。”一個人豔羨地說。另一個說：“我們要支援他、學習他。”

　　Suddenly, a girl asked, “What did the Dean say to you, Hob?”

　　突然，一個女孩問道：“那傢伙對你說什麼了，霍波?”

　　He bent and whispered to her, “Well,er•••er•••Miss Rose, er•••he told me to get clean awayfrom Oxford this very evening!”

　　他彎下腰小聲說：“哦，呃…呃…，羅斯小姐，呃…他說要我今晚從牛津滾出去。”

　　欣賞

　　***一***

　　第一次坐飛機 First Flight

　　Mr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before and he had read a lot about airaccidents, so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr.Johnson was very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend persuaded him that itwas very safe, and Mr. Johnson boarded the plane.

　　約翰遜先生從前未乘過飛機，他讀過許多關於飛行事故的報道。所以，有一天一位朋友邀請他乘自己的小飛機飛行時，約翰遜先生非常擔心，不敢接受。不過，由於朋友不斷保證說飛行是很安全的，約翰遜先生終於被說服了，登上了飛機。

　　His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. Mr. Johnson hadheard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he wasextremely frightened and closed his eyes.

　　他的朋友啟動引擎開始在機場跑道上滑行。約翰遜先生聽說飛行中最危險的是起飛與降落，所以他嚇得緊閉雙眼。

　　After a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and saidto his friend, "Look at those people down there. They look as small as ants, don't they?"

　　過了一兩分鐘，他睜開雙眼朝窗外望去，接著對朋友說道：“看下面那些人，他們看起來就象螞蟻一樣小，是不是?”

　　"Those are ants," answered his friend. "We're still on the ground."

　　“那些就是螞蟻，”他的朋友答道，“我們還在地面上。”

　　***二***

　　第一次與最後一次 My First and My Last

　　When George was thirty-five, he bought a small plane and learned to fly it. He soon becamevery good and made his plane do all kinds of tricks.

　　喬治35歲時買了架小型飛機，並開始學習駕駛。不久，他就能很嫻熟地駕機做各種各樣的特技飛行了。

　　George had a friend. His name was Mark. One day George offered to take Mark up in his plane.Mark thought, "I've travelled in a big plane several times, but I've never been in a small one, soI'll go."

　　喬治有個朋友名叫馬克。一天，喬治主動邀請馬克乘他的飛機上天兜一圈。馬克心想，“我乘大客機飛行過好幾次，還從來沒有乘過小飛機，我不妨試一試。”

　　They went up, and George flew around for half an hour and did all kinds of tricks in the air.

　　升空後，喬治飛了有半個小時，在空中做了各種各樣的飛行特技。

　　When they came down again, Mark was very glad to be back safely, and he said to his friend ina shaking voice, "Well, George, thank you very much for those two trips in your plane."

　　後來他們著陸了。馬克很高興能夠安全返回地面。他用顫抖的聲音對他的朋友說：“喬治，非常感謝你讓我乘小飛機做了兩次飛行。”

　　Gerogy was very surprised and said, "Two trips?"

　　喬治非常吃驚地問：“兩次飛行?”

　　"Yes, my first and my last," answered Mark.

　　“是的，我的第一次和最後一次。”馬克答道。

　　經典的

　　***一***

　　Compliment

　　恭維話

　　"Larry! Come here!" said his furious mother, putting the telephone down, " I’ve just had a callfrom Mrs. Harrison about your behavior to her Doris at the school dance last night. Youwretched, rude boy!"

　　“拉里，你過來!”媽媽放下電話後生氣地說，“我剛才接到哈里森夫人地電話，她告訴我你在昨晚的學校舞會上對多麗絲行為不好，你可恥，粗魯!”

　　"I was nice to her, Mum, really I was!" protested the youth."I even paid her a compliment whenwe had a dance."

　　“媽媽，我對她很好，真的!”小夥子不服氣地說。“當我和她跳舞時我還說了一句恭維她的話。”

　　"Did you, indeed?" said his mother grimly, "And what exactly did you say?"

　　“你真的這麼做的嗎?”媽媽嚴厲地問。“你的原話是怎麼說的?”

　　"I said, Gosh, Doris, you sweat less than any fat girl I’ve ever danced with!"

　　“我說，啊呀，多麗絲，你比我跳過舞的任何胖姑娘出汗都少!”

　　***二***

　　其餘的事由我負責 I'll See to the Rest

　　A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on theplatform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage.

　　一位車上的列車員剛發出訊號讓火車啟動，這時他看見一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站臺上一節開啟的車廂門旁邊，跟車廂裡另一位漂亮姑娘在說話。

　　"Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!"

　　“快點，小姐!”他喊道：“請把門關上。”

　　"Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back.

　　“噢，我還沒有和妹妹吻別呢。”她回答道。

　　"You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest."

　　“請把門關上好了，”列車員說：“其餘的事由我負責。”