爆笑英語笑話大全帶翻譯

　　笑話作為一種特殊的交際策略，它能夠幫助人們緩解尷尬的氣氛，從而保持和諧的人際關係。小編分享，希望可以幫助大家!

　　：A Regimen 養生之道

　　An old man of seventy-six went to a doctor to request a general check up as to the state of his health.

　　The doctor looked him up thoroughly, and then told him: "Everything is fine." As the old man paid his fee, the doctor asked him: "Have you followed any regimen to help you keepphysically fit?"

　　"Well," replied the old man, "when I was married fifty years ago, I made an agreement with my wife that when I lost my temper and easily got angry, she would remain silent and when she lost her temper, I would leave the house. So for over fifty years I had enjoyed a fine outdoor life. That no doubt is the season why I can keep physically fit."

　　一個76歲的老頭去找醫生給他做一次常規體檢，以瞭解他的健康狀況。

　　醫生給他仔細檢查後告訴他：“一切都很好。”老人繳費的時候，醫生問他：“你有什麼養生之道幫助你保持健康呢?”

　　老頭回答道：“哦，50年前結婚時我就和妻子約定：當我生氣了，容易發怒的時候，她要保持沉默;而當她生氣時，我就出門去。於是我得以享受了50多年美好的戶外生活。這一點就是能夠使我保持健康的原因。”

　　：死亡訃告

　　The phone rang in the obituary***訃告*** department of the local newspaper. "How much does it cost to have an obituary printed?" asked the woman. "It's five dollars a word, ma'am," the clerk replied politely. "Fine," said the woman after a moment. "Got a pencil?" "Yes ma'am." "Got some paper?" "Yes ma'am." "Okay, write this down: 'Cohen dead'." "That's all?" asked the clerk disbelievingly. "That's it." "I'm sorry ma'am, I should have told you - there's a five word minimum." "Yes, you should've," snapped the woman. Now let me think a minute... okay, got a pencil?" "Yes ma'am." "Got some paper?" "Yes, ma'am." "Okay, here goes: 'Cohen dead. Cadillac for Sale.'"

　　地方報社負責刊登死亡訃告的部門電話響了。“登一篇訃告多少錢?”一位女士問。“五美元一個字，太太。”書記員禮貌地回答。“好的，”女士沉默了一小會兒，“拿著筆呢嗎?”“是的，夫人。”“紙呢?”“是的，夫人。”“好的，這樣寫：‘科恩去世了’”“就這些了?”書記員疑惑地問道。“對，就這些。”“很抱歉，夫人，我剛才沒有告訴您，在我們這登訃告最少也得五個字。”“沒錯，你就應該告訴我，”女士有點生氣了，“現在我得考慮一下，嗯…拿著筆呢嗎?”“是的，夫人。”“紙呢?”“是的，夫人。”“好的，這樣寫：‘科恩去世了，出售一輛卡迪拉克轎車。’”

　　：It might be the light

　　Deep In the back woods of Tennessee, a hillbilly's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, "Here. You hold this high so I can see what I am doing."

　　Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. "Hey there," said the doctor, "Don't be in such a rush to put that lantern down. I think there's another one coming." Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. "Hold that lantern up, don't set it down there's another one!" said the doctor.

　　Within a few minutes he had delivered a third baby. "No, don't be in a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems there's yet another one coming!" cried the doctor. The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, "You reckon it might be the light that's attracting them?

　　在田納西州叢林的深處，一個鄉下人的妻子半夜時分臨產，一名醫生被叫來幫手接生。 因為那個地方沒有通電，醫生把燈籠遞給那個快要當爸爸的農夫，說，“把這個高高舉著，這樣，我好乾活”。

　　很快，一名男嬰降臨到這人世界上。 “嘿”，醫生說，“彆著急把燈籠放下來，我覺得還有一個小孩要生出來。”，果然，沒幾分鐘，醫生又接生了一個嬰兒，這回是個女孩。“燈籠舉高點，不要坐下來，還有”，醫生說。

　　又過了幾分鐘，第三個孩子降生了。 “別，彆著急放下燈籠，看來，還有一個要出來!”，醫生不由得驚叫起來。 鄉下人撓頭抓耳，不明白是怎麼回事，於是問醫生，“你覺得是不是，這些小傢伙看到光所以爬出來了?”