中學生英語笑話加翻譯

　　近年來,冷笑話作為一種新興的語言現象在網路、雜誌上十分盛行。若要推論現行冷笑話的來源,或已無從考證。小編整理了，歡迎閱讀!

　　：Expensive Price 昂貴的價格

　　Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth.

　　Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction.

　　Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office.

　　牙科醫生：對不起，夫人，為給您的兒子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。

　　母親：二十五美元!可是我知道您拔一顆牙只要五美元呀?

　　牙科醫生：是的。但是您兒子這麼大聲地叫喚，他都嚇跑四位病人了。

　　：That's Why 原來如此

　　Jimmy started painting when he was three years old, and when he was five, he wasalready very good at it. He painted many beautiful and interesting pictures, and peoplepaid a lot of money for them. They said, "This boy's going to be famous when he's little older, and then we're going to sell these pictures for a lot more money."

　　Jimmy's pictures were different from other people's because he never painted on all of the paper. He painted on half of it, and the other half was always empty.

　　"That's very clever," everyone said, "Nobody else does that!"

　　One day somebody bought one of Jimmy's pictures and then said to him, "Please tell me this, Jimmy. Why do you paint on the bottom half of your pictures, but not on the top half?"

　　"Because I'm small," Jimmy said, "and my burshes don't reach very high."

　　吉米三歲開始畫畫，五歲時已經畫得很好了。他畫了很多美麗而有趣的畫，人們出高價購買。他們說，“這個孩子長大一點肯定會出名，我們可以靠這些畫大賺一筆。”

　　吉米的畫與眾不同。因為他從來不在整張紙上作畫。他只畫一半的紙，而另一半他總空著。

　　“構思多麼巧妙啊!”大家都說，“從來沒有人這麼做過。”

　　有一天，一個人買了吉米的畫，然後問他：“請告訴我，吉米，你為什麼總是在紙的下半部分畫畫，而不是在紙的上半部分?”

　　吉米說，“因為我個頭小，夠不著上面。”

　　：The doctor lives downstairs

　　"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."

　　He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge***胭脂，口紅*** and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."

　　“醫生”她衝進屋後大聲說道。

　　“我想讓你坦率地說我到底得了什麼病。”

　　他從頭到腳打量打量她，然後大聲說：“太太，我有三件事要對你說。第一，您的體重需要減少大約50磅;第二，如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口紅，您的美貌將會改變。第三，我是一位畫家——醫生住在樓下。”

　　：How many people do you have

　　An American stepped into a gun shop,"Give me the most powerful pistol." "How many bullets do you need?" The American walked to a telephone booth, "Hello. Is that the bank? How many people do you have, please?"

　　一個美國人走進槍支商店：“給我拿一支威力最大的***。” “您需要多少發子彈?” 那個美國人走到公用電話間旁打電話：“喂，銀行嗎?請問你們有多少人?”

　　：I wish

　　Wife talking to her husband***who reads newspaper all day***: I wish I were a newspaper so I'll be in your hands all day.

　　Husband: I wish that too, so I could change you daily

　　妻子走到看報紙的丈夫面前說：我真希望我是一份報紙，這樣我每天都可以被你捧在手心裡了。

　　丈夫回答到：我也希望如此，這樣我就可以主宰和改變你一天了!