英語對話笑話集帶翻譯

　　冷笑話作為一種新興的語言現象，越來越受到大家的關注，尤其在網路、雜誌、微博、電影上十分盛行。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　Suddenly raising the price 突然漲價

　　man took his son to have an aching tooth pulled by the dentist. When it had been drawn1, the man was asked to pay ten dollars for it.

　　"Ten dollars!" he exclaimed surprised and said to the dentist, "I know you only charge two dollars for pulling a tooth. Why do you raise the price at will***隨意***?"

　　The dentist said, "Yes, but your son cried out so loud that four other patients were frightened away."

　　有個人帶著他的兒子去找牙醫給他拔掉一隻痛牙。牙醫把他的牙齒拔掉後，要這個人付10美元。

　　這個人驚訝得大叫道：“10美元!我知道你拔一隻牙是隻收2美元，為什麼任意漲價呀?”

　　牙醫說：“沒錯，可是你的兒子喊叫得那麼凶，把另外四個病人都嚇跑了嘛!”

　　篇二

　　Honesty 誠實

　　A man went to an insurance office to have his life insured. The manager of the office asked him how old his parents were when they died.

　　"Mother had a bad heart and died at the age of thirty. Father died of tuberculosis1 when he was thirty-five."

　　"I am very sorry," said the manager, "We cannot insure your life as your parents were not healthy."

　　As the man was leaving the office, depressed2, he met a clerk who had overheard the conversation.

　　"You must not be so frank and tell the truth," said the clerk, "no office will insure yoy if you speak like that. Use your imagination a little."

　　The man went to another office and was shown into the manager's room.

　　"Well, young man, how old were your parents when they died ? "

　　"Mother was ninety-three, and she died from a fall off her bicycle. Father was ninety-eight and he died while he was playing football."

　　一位男子去一家保險公司給自己投人壽保險。保險公司經理問他，他父母去世時他們是多大歲數。

　　“母親心臟不好，30 歲過世的。父親死於肺結核，其時35 歲。”

　　“我非常抱歉，”經理說，“ 我們不能給你辦人壽保險，因為你父母身體不健康。”

　　正當此人沮喪地離開保險公司時，他遇上了一位辦事員，此人無意中聽到了經理和他的談話。

　　“你不應該如此坦率地講真話，”那位辦事員說，“ 如果照你那樣講，沒有一家公司會給你辦人壽保險。發揮一點你的想象力吧!”

　　這位男子去到另一家保險公司，被帶進了經理室。

　　“嗯，年輕人，你父母去世時他們多大歲數?”

　　“母親93歲，她是從自行車上摔下來去世的。父親98 歲，他是在踢足球時去世的。”

　　篇三

　　The gambler 賭徒

　　A gambler1 carried $1000 from home and went to casino. A few hours later, he came back. His wife asked him immediately: "Does that big note give birth to some children?"

　　"Yes, yes," the gambler took out two ten-dollar notes and said in a weeping toe, "unfortunately their mother died".

　　有個賭徒從家裡拿了1千美金去賭博。幾小時後，他回來了。妻子忙迎上前問：“那張大票子生孩子沒有?”

　　“生了，生了!”賭徒從衣袋裡掏出兩張10美元的鈔票，哭喪著臉說，“不幸的是，他們的母親去世了。”

　　篇四

　　Shade in the street 大街上的陰涼處

　　It was1 a very hot day in the middle of summer, and there no trees along2 the street.

　　Mr Smith closed3 his shop at half past five, went out into the street and walked to the bus. He was very fat. The sun shone4 straight5 down the street and in a few6 minutes Mr Smith felt very hot.

　　A small boy came7 out of another shop in the street, and went after Mr Smith. He stayed very near him all the time. And he kicked8 Mr Smith's shoes a few times. Mr Smith looked at him angrily each time.

　　After the fourth9 time. Mr smith stopped, turned and said10 to the small boy, "What are you doing here? Stop going11 after me like that! You're going to hurt my feet."

　　"I'm sorry, but don't stop me, please!" the small boy said. "It is very hot today, and there isn't any shade12 anywhere13 else in the street!"

　　這是夏季一個非常炎熱的一天，大街兩邊沒有一棵樹。

　　史密斯先生下午五點半就將商店關閉，來到大街上，向公共汽車走去。史密斯很胖，太陽火辣辣地照在大街上，不一會兒他就感到太熱了。

　　一個小男孩從大街上另一家商店裡出來，走在史密斯先生後面。這個小男孩一直緊跟著他，踢了史密斯先生的鞋子好幾次。每次，史密斯都很憤怒地他一眼。

　　又踢了一次後，史密斯先生停下里，英語小故事轉過身對這個小男孩說：“你在這裡幹什麼呀?別這樣跟著我，你會踢傷我的腳的。”

　　“對不起，可是請別趕我走!”小男孩說道：“今天這麼熱，大街上別的地方又沒有一點陰涼處。”