初中英語版短篇笑話閱讀

　　笑話是日常生活中常見的一種幽默。與一般日常會話不同,笑話刻意違反合作原則,由此衍生出會話含意,並利用會話含意之間的衝突實現其預定功能。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　Hours of consultation 診療時間

　　It was half pass three. The doctor just lay down to have a nap when he heard a loud knock on the door. He got up and asked the man at the door: "What is it?"

　　"I've been bitten by a dog," said the man painfully.

　　"Well, don't you know that my hours of consultation1 are between twelve and three?" said the doctor unpleasantly.

　　"I know," groaned2 the man, "but that confounded***困惑的*** dog didn't know, It bit me at twenty past three."

　　下午三點半鐘時，醫生剛剛躺下想小睡一會兒，就聽到有人大聲敲門。他起身問門口的人：“什麼事呀?”

　　門口那個人痛苦地說：“我被狗咬了。”

　　醫生很不高興地說：“哦，你不知道我診病的時間是12點到3點嗎?”

　　那個人呻吟著說：“我知道，可是那隻該死的狗不知道。它在3點20分咬了我。”

　　篇二

　　A little boy's age 一個小男孩的年齡

　　One day a minister went to visit a home in his new parish.

　　A little boy was playing in the living room. Before his mother came downstairs to greet the visitor, the minister cordially***誠摯地*** asked the boy, "How old are you, my little man?"

　　"I am five at home, six in school, and four on the cars," replied the boy frankly1.

　　有一天，一位牧師去訪問他的新教區裡的一戶人家。

　　一個小男孩正在客廳裡玩。在他母親下樓來招待客人之前，牧師很親切地問他：“小傢伙，你幾歲啦?”

　　男孩很坦率地回答說：“在家裡5歲，在學校裡6歲，在電車上是4歲。”

　　篇三

　　I'll Change My Name 我會改一個名字

　　At the age of 16, Edely decided1 to leave home and join a theater company. His father wasappalled2***驚駭的***, "A son of mine on the stage? It's a disgrace!" he wailed3. "What if the neighbors find out?"

　　"I'll change my name," the comic-to-be volunteered. "

　　"Change your name!" His father screamed. "What if you're a success? How will the neighbors know it's my son?"

　　埃迪十六歲了，他決定離開家去參加一個劇團。他的爸爸氣壞了。 “讓我的兒子上舞臺演戲?真丟臉!”他大叫道，“鄰居們知道了怎麼想?”

　　“我會改一個名字。”這位未來的滑稽演員主動提出。

　　“改名字!”他爸爸喊叫著，“那如果你出了名怎麼辦?怎麼讓鄰居們知道你就是我的兒子呢?”

　　篇四

　　Thinking Back 回憶

　　We were gathered together, all ten of us, for our widowed mother's 80th birthday. The conversation was of early struggles, walking to work and saving1 up in clothing clubs, when my elder sister said, "Of course, we were bound2 to be poor because we were such a big family. Mom, why did you have so many children?"

　　Mother looked around at us all and said, "Well, where did you want to me to stop?"

　　我們總共十個人，聚在一起祝賀已成為寡婦的媽媽的八十歲生日。談的話題是我們家早年的艱辛，走著去上班，在“新衣會”裡存錢準備買衣裳。這時我姐姐說：“當然，我們的生活沒法子不艱難，因為我們家孩子太多了。媽媽，您為什麼要生這麼多的孩子呢?”

　　媽媽我們一圈說：“那麼，你想讓我在哪兒停住呢?”

　　篇五

　　Lecture on Giving up Drinking 戒酒演講

　　A competition which subject is on giving up drinking is proceeding1. One of lecturers says excitedly, " Alcohol can break down conjugal2***婚姻的*** relation, even cause your wife to leave you… "

　　A man shouts out at the news, "Give me another bottle of Brandy."

　　以戒酒為主題的演講比賽正在進行，一個演講者動情地說：“酒精可以破壞夫妻關係，甚至導致妻子離開自己的丈夫……”

　　這時一個男人大聲喊：“再來一瓶白蘭地!”