適合初一的好笑的英語笑話

　　笑話,顧名思義,是一種通過幽默的文字或圖示來達到令人會心一笑或捧腹大笑效果的文學形式。本文是 ，希望對大家有幫助!

　　篇一

　　Five Hundred Times 五百遍

　　In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."

　　在中西部一個大城市的交通法庭裡，一位年輕女士被帶到法官面前，她由於開車闖紅燈被開了***。女士向法官解釋，她是一名學校老師，請求法官馬上處理她的案子，以便可以趕回去上課。法官眼中閃過一絲狡黠，說道：“你是學校的老師，對嗎?女士，我馬上要實現我畢生的願望了。在那張桌子旁坐下，寫‘我開車闖了紅燈’500遍。”

　　篇二

　　The Bait 把誘餌扔回海里

　　A man and his wife were on a holiday.Theywent for a sail. Unfortunately the wife fell overboard and was drowned. The man asked the pier-master to let him know if her body was found. Two weeks later he received a wire saying: "Body recovered yesterday covered with crabs. Send instructions." The man sent a wire back saying, "Sell crabs, send the money; reset bait."

　　一個男人和妻子去度假。他們乘風出海，不幸的是妻子掉入海中淹死了。這個男人叫碼頭的負責人在妻子的屍體找到後通知他一聲。二個星期後，他接到了一份電報：“屍體已於昨日找到，上邊爬滿了螃蟹。請指示。”男人回電報說：“賣掉螃蟹，收入匯過來;誘餌扔回海里。”

　　篇三

　　Skinny Dipping 裸泳

　　One day Jimmy went down to the pond for a dip, but before he could dive in he spied his teacher, Mrs. Smith, emerging from nude bathing. When Mrs. Smith saw Jimmy, she grabbed the nearest object - which happened to be an old wooden box - and held it in front of her.

　　"Young man, I know what you're thinking," she said.

　　"And I know what you're thinking," replied Jimmy. "You're thinking that box has a bottom on it!"

　　Jimmy去池塘游泳，他扎猛子前剛好看到了他的老師，Smith小姐，從裸泳中冒出頭來。當 Smith小姐看到Jimmy時，她趕緊抓過最近的一個物體---那碰巧是一箇舊的木頭盒子，擋在自己前面，說：“年輕人，我知道你在想什麼!”“我也知道你在想什麼，”Jimmy回答，“你一定以為這個盒子是有底的!”

　　篇四

　　Chaude and Cold 熱與冷

　　A patron in Montreal cafe turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded. "This is an outrage," he complained. "The faucet marked C gave me boiling water."

　　"But, Monsieur, C stands for chaude - French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal."

　　"Wait a minute," roared the patron. "The other tap is also marked C."

　　"Of course," said the manager, "It stands for cold. After all, Montreal is a bilingual city."

　　蒙特利爾咖啡館的一位顧客擰開盥洗室的水龍頭，結果被水燙傷了。“這太可惡了，”他抱怨道，“標著C的龍頭流出的是開水。”

　　“可是，先生，C代表Chaude，在法語裡代表'熱'。如果您住在蒙特利爾的話就應該知道這一點。”

　　“等等，”那位顧客咆哮著，“另外一個龍頭標的也是C。”

　　“那當然，”經理說道：“這個C代表冷。畢竟，蒙特利爾是個雙語城市。”

　　篇五

　　Chicken soup 雞湯

　　Joe was in the hospital and it was time for lunch. He looks at his lunch and says, "I don't like chicken soup, bring something else." The hospital worker said, "It's good for you, the doctor said you should have it." Regardless, the patient refused to eat it. That night, a patient in the room with Joe had a bad stomach pain so the nurses came in to give him an enema. By mistake, they gave the enema to Joe. The following week, when he was leaving the hospital, a new patient asked him how he liked the hospital. He told him, "Well, the hospital itself is pretty good, but they're very strict about their food. when they bring up chicken soup you better eat it, or else they'll come back in the middle of the night and shove it up your behind!"

　　Joe在住院，一天午餐時間，他看自己的飯菜，說：“我不喜歡雞湯，拿點別的給我吧。”醫院的護工說：“雞湯對您的身體有好處，醫生說您得喝這個。” 無論如何，Joe還是不肯喝。那天晚上，和Joe同房間的一個病人得了嚴重的胃病，於是護士過來給他灌腸。可是他們搞錯了，給Joe做了灌腸。第二個禮拜，Joe出院時，新住進來的病人問他覺得醫院怎麼樣。Joe告訴他：“這個醫院本身是很好的，但是他們對伙食真的很嚴格，如果他們讓你喝雞湯，你最好喝了它，不然他們會半夜過來硬是從你後面塞進去!”