英語趣味幽默故事帶翻譯

　　笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調劑作用。下面小編為大家帶來，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　1：

　　On a trip to Disney World in Florida, my husband and I and our two children devoted ourselves wholeheartedly to the wonders of this attraction. After three exhausting days, we headed for home.

　　As we drove away, our son waved and said, "Good-bye, Mickey."

　　Our daughter waved and said, "Good-bye, Minnie."

　　My husband waved, rather weakly, and said, "Good-bye, Money."

　　一次，我和丈夫以及兩個孩子前往位於佛羅里達州的迪斯尼樂園旅遊,我們全身心地陶醉在它的各種充滿吸引力的奇觀中。筋疲力盡地玩了三天後，我們要回家了。 當我們駕車離開時，兒子揮著手說：“再見了，米奇。” 女兒也揮著手說，“再見了，米妮。” 丈夫也有氣無力地揮了揮手，說：“再見了，美元。”

　　2：

　　When the surgeon came to see his blonde patient on the day after her operation, she asked him somewhat hesitantly just how long it would be before she could resume her sex life.

　　Uh, I hadn't really thought about it" replied the stunned surgeon. You're the first one ever to ask that after a tonsillectomy."

　　手術後第二天，外科醫生去看他的金髮碧眼的美女病人，她有點吞吞吐吐地問他多久以後她能恢復性生活。

　　“啊，我真的從來沒想過這點!”醫生萬分驚諤，“你是第一個做了扁桃體切除手術後問我這種問題的人!”

　　3：

　　A lawyer named Strange was shopping for a tombstone. After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it. "Here lies an honest man and a lawyer," responded the lawyer. "Sorry, but I can't do that," replied the stonecutter. "In this state, it's against the law to bury two people in the same grave. However, I could put ``here lies an honest lawyer" "But that won't let people know who it is" protested the lawyer. "Certainly will," retorted the stonecutter. "people will read it and exclaim, "That's Strange!"

　　一個姓Strange的律師去買墓碑。他選好了以後，石匠問他，要在墓碑上刻什麼碑銘。律師回答：“這裡長眠著一個誠實的人，一個律師。”“對不起，我辦不到，”石匠說，“要是這樣的話，違反了一個墳墓只能埋葬一個人的法律。不過，我會刻上：‘這裡長眠著一位誠實的律師’。” 律師抗議：“但是那樣人們就不知道這裡埋葬的是誰啊!”“當然知道啦，”石匠反駁道，“人們看到會驚呼‘太奇怪了!’”

　　4：

　　This story is told of a browbeating counsel，who habitually endeavored to terrorize his opponent's witnesses.

　　One witness rather tended to preface his replies with lengthy explanations.

　　“I want‘yes’or‘no，’”thundered counsel.“There is no need for you to argue the point!”

　　“But there are some questions which cannot be answered by‘yes’or‘no，’”mildly responded the witness.

　　“There are not!” snapped the lawyer.

　　“Oh，” said the witness，“answer this then：“Have you ceased beating your wife?”

　　這個故事講的是一個咄咄逼人的辯護律師，他慣於儘量去恐嚇對方的證人。

　　有一個證人有點傾向於在回答問題之前做冗長的解釋。

　　“我要你回答‘是’或者‘不是’，”辯護律師怒喝道： “你沒有必要就這個問題進行爭論。”

　　“可是有些問題無法用‘是’或者‘不是’來回答。”這位證人溫和地回敬他。

　　“不存在這樣的問題!”律師厲聲打斷他。

　　“噢，”證人說：“那麼請你回答這個問題：“你停止打你老婆了嗎?”