幽默英語笑話故事閱讀

　　看笑話好處多多，可治療鬱抑症,精神分裂症,老年痴呆症,骨質疏鬆,心肌梗塞,冠心病,腦血栓,以及心煩,失眠等。小編整理了幽默英語笑話故事，歡迎閱讀!

　　幽默英語笑話故事：Gorilla In a Tree

　　As he was quietly watching television at home, the chap heard a sound on the roof of his house and rushed out to investigate. Seeing it was a fair-sized gorilla tearing the shingles off his home, he promptly called up the local zoo authorities to inform them one of their animals had escaped. He was reassured that a gorilla recovering units was on the way and to remain calm.

　　A few minutes later, an old beat up truck, displaying the Gorilla recovery unit logo on its panels, pulled up to the house. The elderly driver proceeds to recover from the back of the truck, a chiwawa dog, a pair of handcuffs, a ladder, a baseball bat, and a 12-gauge shotgun. Puzzled on how this lone elderly was to solve the problem of this gorilla that had by now torn half the roof apart, the chap asked him how he would go about doing this. As he handed him over the 12-gauge shotgun, the zoo employee explained the plan:

　　"First I'll climb up there with the ladder. Then I'll approach the gorilla and knock him off the roof using the baseball bat. As soon as the gorilla hits the ground, the specially trained chiwawa will attack its private parts. When I get back on the ground, the gorilla will have lowered its hands to its groin area to protect itself thus making it easy for me to slip on the handcuffs. Then, I lead him to the truck, lock him up and take him back to the zoo..."

　　Amazed at the procedure, the somewhat startled house owner asked why he was handed the 12-gauge shotgun?

　　"Well," explained the experienced gorilla retriever, "It's just a precaution should things not go exactly as planned. In the unlikely event that once on the roof the gorilla knocks me off with the baseball, shoot the dog."

　　幽默英語笑話故事：誰的爸爸是最強壯的

　　Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger. Will said, "Well, you know the Pacific Ocean ? My father's the one who dug the hole for it."

　　Bill wasn't impressed, "Well, that's nothing. You know the Dead Sea ? My father's the one who killed it!"

　　中文翻譯：

　　維爾和比爾在爭吵，誰的爸爸是更強壯的一個。維爾說：“你知道太平洋嗎?　那個坑是我爸爸挖的。”

　　比爾不屑地說：“那沒什麼。你知道死海嗎? 那是我爸爸打死的。”

　　幽默英語笑話故事：弄巧成拙

　　One evening my husband's golfing buddy drove his secretary home after she had imbibed a little too much at an office reception. Although this was an innocent gesture，he decided not to mention it to his wife,who tended to get jealous easily.

　　一天晚上，我丈夫一位打高爾夫球的朋友開車送他的祕書回家。那個祕書是因為在公司的招待會上喝多了點兒，不能自己駕車回家。這事雖然無可厚非，但是他還是決定不把這事告訴他那愛吃蠟的妻子。

　　Later that night my husband's friend and his wife were driving to a restaurant. Suddenly he looked down and spotted a high-heel shoe half hidden under the passenger seat.Not wanting to be conspicuous， he waited until his wife was looking out of her window before he ,scooped up the shoe and tossed it out of the car. With a sigh of relief , he pulled into the restaurant parking lot. That's when he noticed his wife squirming around in her .seat.” Honey,"she asked，“have you seen my other shoe?"

　　也就在同天晚上，這位朋友送走祕書後，又帶著妻子驅車去飯店吃晚飯。無意中他看見一隻高跟鞋半掩在後座椅子下。他不想引起懷疑，趁妾子扭頭看窗外的時侯，掏出了那隻鞋，把它扔出了車外。他大大地鬆了一口氣，把汽車停在了飯店外的停車場。這時，他發現他妻子正低頭找著什麼東西。妻子問:“親愛的，你看見我的那隻鞋了嗎?"