經典的簡單英文笑話閱讀

　　近些年,冷笑話作為一種特殊的幽默方式在網際網路、電視節目、書籍雜誌上廣泛流傳。本文是經典的簡單英文笑話，希望對大家有幫助!

　　經典的簡單英文笑話： When to Stop

　　An old man went to the doctor and began to pour1 out his problems. As the doctor asked more about what was the matter with him, the old man said, "Well Doc, after I get to the first, I'm very, very tired. After the second, I feel all in***疲乏到極點***. After the third, my heart begins to pound. After the fourth, I break out in a cold sweat2. And after the fifth, I'm soexhausted3, I feel like I'm going to die, right then and there***當場***!"

　　"That's incredible," said the doctor, "but how old are you?"

　　"Eighty-five," the patient said. And the doctor said, "Well, at 85, why don't you stop at the first?"

　　The man said, "I can't stop: I live on the fifth floor!"

　　一個老人去看醫生，滔滔地講述他的問題。醫生進一步詢問他的症狀，他說：“醫生啊!我上第一層之後，感到非常累!上了第二層，覺得快不行了!到第三層，心跳加劇!到第四層，大冒冷汗!到第五層，筋疲力盡， 感覺當場就要死了!”

　　“真不可思議啊!”醫生說：“你今年幾歲呢?”

　　“八十五”，病人說。醫生說：“噢，八十五歲了!為什麼你不一開始就停下來?”

　　老人回答：“我不能停下來，我住在第五層樓啊!”

　　經典的簡單英文笑話：Two Tickets Please

　　A young man was in love with a girl. At one weekend, he invited his girlfriend to the cinema. When they were at the ticket box, the young man said to the ticket seller1, "Two tickets, please. "

　　When the ticket seller told him that all the tickets had sold out, the disappointed young man said, "Then do you have any sur-tickets that can allow us to stand together?"

　　一個小夥子愛上了一位姑娘。週末，他請她看電影。來到售票處，小夥子對售票員說：“請給兩張票。”

　　售票員告訴他所有的票都賣完了。失望的年輕人說：“那麼，您有兩張可以讓我們站在一起的附加票嗎?”

　　經典的簡單英文笑話：Fill it with water!

　　Osama Bin1 Laden2, a Canadian, and President Bush were walking down the street when they saw a golden lamp. They rubbed it and a genie3***妖怪，鬼*** came out and said, "I will grant each one a wish that's 3 together."

　　The Canadian said, "I am a father and my son will be a farmer so I want the soil in Canada to be forever fertile." The genie said the magic words and the wish came true. Osama looked amazed so he wished for a wall around Afghanistan the genie said the magic words and again the wish came true.

　　President Bush said, "Genie, tell me more about this wall," the genie said, "It's 50 feet thick and 500 feet tall so nothing can get in and nothing can get out." President Bush said, "Wow! That's a big bridge. Fill it with water!"

　　拉登，一個加拿大人還有布什總統走在大街上看到一盞金色的燈。他們擦了擦燈出現了一個精靈，精靈說：“我要滿足你們每人一個願望總共三個。”

　　加拿大人說：“我是個父親我兒子將成為農夫，因此我想讓加拿大的土地永遠肥沃。”精靈說了咒語願望實現了。拉登很驚奇，他希望有座城牆圍繞阿富汗。精靈又說了咒語願望又實現了。

　　布什總統問：“精靈請告訴我關於這座牆的事情。”精靈回答：“牆厚50英尺，高500英尺，因而裡面的任何東西出不來外面的任何東西進不去。”布什總統說：“哇，那是座大橋耶。注滿水!”