簡單英語小笑話一分鐘

　　近幾年,受到國內外文學“突圍”的啟示,以及文化和諧與民族交流的內在需要,笑話民族文學研究已漸入主流。下面小編整理了，希望大家喜歡!

　　品析

　　牛人不寫作業的十大爆笑理由

　　最高科技的理由

　　I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy.

　　我用的是太陽能計算器，而當時是陰天。

　　***後面的意思，你懂的~~***

　　最“權威”的理由

　　The District Court of Appeals recently ruled that homework is officially cruel and unusualpunishment.

　　地方法院最近裁定家庭作業是官方的不人道和非常規的懲罰措施。

　　***於是老師頗感鴨梨……***

　　最有愛的理由

　　My mother took it to have it framed.

　　我媽媽把作業裝裱了~

　　***總不能棒打母愛吧~***

　　最經典的理由

　　I ran out of toilet paper and had to improvise.

　　廁所沒紙了，只能拿作業紙湊合著用了。

　　***親，這個有點過時了……***

　　最無厘頭的理由

　　The nice man with the sign says the end is HERE. No one does homework on the eve of theapocalypse.

　　我看到一個非常和善的先生拿著一個牌子寫著：今天大家都完蛋。沒人在世界末日前還做家庭作業。

　　最殘忍的理由

　　My father had a nervous breakdown and cut it up to make paper dolls.

　　我老爸有點神經失常，把作業剪裁開來摺紙玩偶了。

　　***老爸悲催了***

　　最高境界的理由

　　I was too worried about XXXXX in obscure African nations to focus on homework.

　　我十分擔心暗藏殺機的非洲國家將面臨種族滅絕大屠殺，實在無法集中注意力做作業了。

　　***家事國事天下事，事事關心，無可厚非嘛~***

　　最噁心的理由

　　My dog ate it. Seriously, look I brought a stool sample.

　　作業被狗給吃了。真的，你看，我帶來了糞便樣本。

　　***人類已經無法阻止狗狗吃作業了***

　　最得瑟的理由

　　Aliens took it as a sample of human handwriting.

　　作業被外星人拿去當人類字跡樣本了。

　　***茫茫作業中，選中的就素你的，額~***

　　最直接的理由

　　What homework?

　　什麼作業?

　　***裝傻時請自覺配合表情~***

　　經典

　　先把車窗搖上去

　　A woman got a dent in her car and took it in to the repair shop.

　　The repairman decided to have a wee bit of fun. So he told her all she had to do was to take it home and blow in the tailpipe until the dent popped itself out.

　　After 15 minutes of this, a lady-one of the woman's friends came over and asked what she was doing.

　　"I'm trying to pop out this dent, but it's not really working."

　　"Duh you have to roll up the windows first!"

　　一位女士把車撞了一個坑,於是就去修車。

　　修理工決定幽她一默。他告訴她,她只需把車開回家,然後從排氣管裡往車裡吹氣,直到凹陷處自己鼓起來。

　　這位女士如法操作了15分鐘。這時,她的一位女性朋友來拜訪她,並問她在做什麼。

　　“我正在試著讓那個坑鼓起來,但這個辦法似乎並不管用。”

　　“嗯……你必須先把車窗搖上去!”

　　關於

　　吝嗇鬼請客

　　The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

　　"Why use my elbow and foot?"

　　"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"

　　一個出了名的吝嗇鬼終於決定要請一次客了。他在向一個朋友解釋怎麼找到他家時說：“你上到五樓，找中間那個門，然後用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了之後，再用你的腳把門推開。”

　　“為什麼要用我的肘和腳呢?”

　　“你的雙手得拿禮物啊。天哪，你總不會空著手來吧?”吝嗇鬼回答。

　　欣賞

　　誰最懶? Who Is the Laziest?

　　Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Whois the laziest person in your class?

　　父親：哎，湯姆，今天我跟你們老師談過，現在我想問你個問題。你們班上誰最懶?

　　Tom: I don't know, father.

　　湯姆：我不知道，爸爸。

　　Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits inthe class and only watches how other people work?

　　父親：啊，不對，你知道!想想看，當別的孩子們都在做作業、寫字時，誰在課堂上坐著，只是看人家做功課?

　　Tom: Our teacher, father.

　　湯姆：我們老師，爸爸。