關於大一短篇英文笑話

　　民間笑話故事像神話小說等民間文學一樣，是廣大勞動人民在長期的生產勞動和與自然界作鬥爭的過程中，以口頭形式創作和傳承的文學體裁。小編分享，希望可以幫助大家!

　　：Psychology

　　Several international businessmen were on a conference cruise when the ship began to sink. "Go and tell those fellows to put on life jackets and jump overboard," the captain directed his first mate.

　　A few minutes later the first mate returned. "Those guys won't jump," he reported. "Take over," the captain ordered, "and I'll see what I can do."

　　Returning moments later, he announced, "They've gone."

　　"How'd you do it?" asked the first mate.

　　"I used psychology. I told the Englishman it was the sporting thing to do, and he jumped. I told the Frenchman it was chic***時髦***; the German that it was a command; the Italian that it was forbidden."

　　"And how did you get the American to jump?"

　　"No problem," said the captain. "I told him he was insured!"

　　：Buy the ice

　　Once a simpleton's wife told him to buy some ice.

　　Two hours later, he didn't come back. She wanted to know why he didn't come back and went out to have a look. She saw he was standing in the sun at the gate and watching the ice melting.

　　"What's the matter?" She asked him. "Why don't you bring it in?"

　　"I saw the ice was wet and I was afraid that you would scold me so I’m running it dry." Thesimpleton***傻子，笨蛋*** answered.

　　：That man knows the future

　　Nasreddin was cutting a branch of a tree in his garden. While he was sawing, another man passed in the street. He stopped and said, 'Excuse me, but if you continue to saw that branch like that, you will fall down with it.' He said this because Nasreddin was sitting on the branch and cutting it at a place between himself and the trunk of the tree.

　　Nasreddin said nothing. He thought, 'This is some foolish person who has no work to do and goes about telling other people what to do and what not to do.'

　　The man continued on his way.

　　Of course, after a few minutes, the branch fell and Nasreddin fell with it.

　　'My God!' he cried. 'That man knows the future!' and he ran after him to ask how long he was going to live. But the man had gone.

　　：The King and His Stories

　　Once there was a king. He likes to write stories, but his stories were not good. As people were afraid of him, they all said his stories were good.

　　One day the king showed his stories to a famous writer. He waited the writer to praise these stories. But the writer said his stories were so bad that he should throw them into fire. The king got very angry with him and sent him to prison.

　　After some time, the king set him free. Again he showed him some of his new stories and asked what he thought of them.

　　After reading them, the writer at once turned to the soldiers and said: "Take me back to prison, please."

　　：The Email

　　A married couple was planning to go on vacation in Key West, Florida. The man went down first, while the wife was finishing up a business meeting in New York City. The husband arrived and decided to email his wife to tell her he arrived in Key West.

　　After he typed his message, he accidentally typed in the wrong email address. The email went to a woman who was grieving over her recently deceased husband. The grieving woman checked her email, read the man's letter, then passed out***昏倒*** cold. Her daughter came in and looked at the computer screen. It read:

　　Honey,

　　This is your husband. I just wanted to tell you I got here OK, and I have all your bags checked in and ready for you to get here tonight so we can be together.

　　P.S. It sure is hot down here.