爆笑到不行的英語笑話大全

　　笑話一般比較短小,喜劇性很強,普遍存在於人們的日常生活中。笑話的娛樂作用可以減輕人的心理壓力,促進身體健康。下面是小編帶來的爆笑到不行的英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　爆笑到不行的英語笑話篇一

　　病人和他的大夫

　　A woman complained that her husband constantly hung around the house，doing or saying nothing. To please her, he went to see a psychiatrist.“Just lie down on the couch and we'll talk. "the doctor told him. "If you think of something to say, fine. If not，maybe next time.”

　　一位婦女總是抱怨其丈夫在家裡轉來轉去，無所事是，為了使老婆高興，他找到了精神病學專家。“你就躺在沙發上，我們來談談。”精神病醫生告訴他:“如呆你想起什麼就說，沒有的話，下次再講也行。”

　　The guy got himself comfortable and fell fast asleep. At the end of the hour，the doctor woke hirn up and said，"That will be all for today—$100，please. "The patient paid and left.

　　這位男士舒適地躺在沙發上，很快就入睡了。到了一小時，大夫喚醒了他說:“今天就到這兒吧，請交100元。”病人付了錢之後就走了，從此，那個人每週三、四來就診。每次，他總是一句話也不說，光是睡覺，而且每次都付錢。第三週，病人來後坐下，然後又跳了起來。

　　The man came back every Tuesday and Thursday after that. Each time，he fell asleep without saying a word，but paid the fee. The third week, the patient came in，sat down and then jumped right up again."Aha,"， marveled the doctor. "Have you thought of something to say?"

　　“啊哈!”大夫驚喜道，“你想出要說的話了嗎?”

　　"Yes，do you need a partner ?"

　　“是的，你需要一個助手嗎?”

　　爆笑到不行的英語笑話篇二

　　執行指令

　　My friend Gilbert and some other truck drivers were to deliver loads of gravel out in the country. The directions they were given said to go down a certain road and, when they came to a cow tied to a fence post, to turn right.

　　我朋友吉爾波特和一些卡車司機到農村去送沙石。他們得到的地址只說沿著某條路一直走，當看到一頭牛拴在蒸笆柱上時，就向右轉。

　　While Gilbert was driving along slowly，he came upon a farmer leading a cow down the road. Assuming this was his landmark, he stopped and asked the man where his cow had been tied. After Gilbert explained why he wanted to know， the farmer took the cow back and tied it to the post. All the loads got delivered.

　　正當吉爾波特開車續續前進時，他看見一位農夫牽著一頭牛沿路而來。他猜測這就是他要找的地方。他停下了車問那位農夫，他的牛剛才拴在什麼地方。在吉爾波特向農夫說明了他為什麼想知道這個問題的答案之後，那位農夫把牛牽回來，把它拴在柱子止，所有的貨都運到了此地。

　　爆笑到不行的英語笑話篇三

　　母親與教師

　　I teach middle-school choir and occasionally have my own children in class. One day my son asked if he could have a pencil. As a teacher,I normally do not lend items to unprepared students;but as a mother，I help my children whenever I can. I asked my son whether he was speaking to his teacher or his mother. He replied，“It degends on who has the pencil."

　　我教初中的唱詩班，偶爾會教到自己的孩子。一天，我兒子問我是否能借給他一支鉛筆。作為一位老師，我一般不借東西給那些不做課堂準備的學生。但作為一位母親，我應隨時幫助我的孩子。於是，我問兒子他是在跟老師說話，還是在跟母親說話。而他卻說:“那要看誰有鉛筆了。”

　　爆笑到不行的英語笑話篇四

　　聰明的大夫

　　As a doctor is examining a patient, his nurse bursts in and says”Excuse me，but that man you just treated walked out of the door and collapsed on the front step. What should I do?"

　　大夫正為一個病人做檢查時，她的護士闖了進來說:“請原諒，剛才在您這兒看病的那位病人出門時摔在前面的臺階上了，我該怎麼辦呢?”

　　"Turn him around，"the doctor answered，"So it looks like he was walking in.”

　　大夫回答:“給他轉個身，這樣，別人看起來會以為他是正往裡走。”

　　爆笑到不行的英語笑話篇五

　　沙丁魚的抱怨

　　Two sardines were swimming in New York harbor when one suggested they go up to the Bronx for the weekend.”I'd rather not，"the other objected. "It's such a long swim."

　　兩條沙丁魚在紐約港游水，其中的一條建議到布朗恩斯***Bronx***去度週末。另一條沙丁魚反對說:“我認為最好不去。要遊的距離太長了。”

　　"How about taking the subway?'his companion asked.

　　“那麼從地鐵通道過去怎麼樣?”他的同伴問。

　　"No way!"replied the second sardine."And be packed in there like people?"

　　“不可能，”第二條沙丁魚說:“難選要像人類那樣到地鐵裡去亂擠嗎?”